6

I tend to avoid things that make look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs

3

I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak

6

sorry I haven't been around guys. The ginger kitty in my profile pic was hit by a car and died in my arms and its been rough. As you can tell he was my little buddy. He was 1 1/2 old so its even tougher because he was so little

R.I.P. Scrappy. Miss ya lil buddy

chefdaddy:
Sorry to hear about your cat. Glad to see you back around
6

Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable

3

"Roll that ass round and round like a motherfuckin' wheel. Shake that shit this ain't no motherfuckin' drill"

-Martin Luther King Jr -

4

been away a couple weeks. who missed me ?

chefdaddy:
I have had a hard time filling the void left by the absence of your bad jokes and one liners. Next time you take a leave of absence you should really appoint a replacement jokester. Haha. Happy new year I hope you are doing well. 
8

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.

4

“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.