I'm gonna create a dating website for rappers and call it.

Bone Thugs 'N' eHarmony

I've burned my mouth while eating a slice of pizza so, yes, I do know what it's like when a loved one betrays you.

If someone says they’re gonna open up a can of whoop ass, that means someone out there is canning whoop ass…I’d be more afraid of that second guy

There was random drug testing at work today but I couldn't decide which one I liked best.

I'm not sure what my spirit animal is, but I'm sure it has Rabies

deuteranopia:
I may have el oh elled just then.
chefdaddy:
That got a real laugh 

I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car

You can catch flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly!

chefdaddy:
Word

If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.

I just helped a really old person put their groceries in my car.

I love long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realized I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kjj0013:
You'd have 13 dollars
pimenta:
Lol

You can't fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...

I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

norte:
lol!