My mom keeps asking me “when are you gonna give me grandbabies” then gets pissed when I bring some home from the park.. I wish she’d make up her mind

@chad vs @jeh

WHO WOULD WIN? WHO HAS THE BEST BOOTY?

Oh wait... they're both winners! we all win!

Facebook should put more effort into privacy! Certainly as far as photos are concerned.

I managed to find a really attractive girl, and without adding her, I could see all her photos, including some risqué shots in a bikini.

I mean, she’s lucky it’s only me jerking off over her photos and not some pervert.

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
wizard0:
Girl doesn't know how lucky she is!  :)
tbars:
Haha oh you are too much!

Hold my fannypack while I bang this chick!

chefdaddy:
That actually got a full on laugh. 

There are two reasons why I don't take out my girlfriend out on a long drive in my Audi A8.

1. I don't have a girlfriend
2. I don't have Audi A8.

tbars:
Haha!
wizard0:
But other than that, you're golden!

I bet women were the first ones to discover bananas were edible

tbars:
And fun to play with

My brother just came into my room and called me feminine. If my nails weren’t drying I’d totally kick his ass

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
prongs:
👌🏻💪🏻
r06ert0:
¿ your toe-nails ?

Twilight: Taking the "n" out of "vampire fangs" since 2007.

KYLE'S SOMETHING NEW I LEARNED!!!!
Instagram is not a drug delivery service

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahh shit! he's under a blanket."

i:
artificial womb

I bought some new bedroom furniture from Ikea today. The instructions are just a picture of some guy shouting at his wife.

she was the only girl who wanted me to draw and paint her... so here she is the lovely @babal