I tend to avoid things that make look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs

I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak

sorry I haven't been around guys. The ginger kitty in my profile pic was hit by a car and died in my arms and its been rough. As you can tell he was my little buddy. He was 1 1/2 old so its even tougher because he was so little

R.I.P. Scrappy. Miss ya lil buddy

chefdaddy:
Sorry to hear about your cat. Glad to see you back around

Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable

"Roll that ass round and round like a motherfuckin' wheel. Shake that shit this ain't no motherfuckin' drill"

-Martin Luther King Jr -

been away a couple weeks. who missed me ?

chefdaddy:
I have had a hard time filling the void left by the absence of your bad jokes and one liners. Next time you take a leave of absence you should really appoint a replacement jokester. Haha. Happy new year I hope you are doing well. 
8

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.

4

“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.

4

Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything

4

I'm beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.