Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable

"Roll that ass round and round like a motherfuckin' wheel. Shake that shit this ain't no motherfuckin' drill"

-Martin Luther King Jr -

been away a couple weeks. who missed me ?

chefdaddy:
I have had a hard time filling the void left by the absence of your bad jokes and one liners. Next time you take a leave of absence you should really appoint a replacement jokester. Haha. Happy new year I hope you are doing well. 
8

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.

4

“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.

4

Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything

4

I'm beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.

9

my new Thai girlfriend says it's okay to have a small penis. I still wish she didn't have one

caraphernelia:
what the hell XDDD
3

so tonight at work this woman told me she was so horny she would fuck a plunger and would end up in a coma when it caused her to slip in the shower.

caraphernelia:
what the hell XD
3

If someone starts a sentence with “words can’t express,” brace yourself, because they’re about to give it a hell of a try anyways