kennyg

I really hate writing bummer journal entries, but sometimes you have to, right?

My dad's about to die.

For those just tuning in, he has a rare bone marrow disease called myelodysplastic syndrome. It's the same disease that Carl Sagan had. It has left him neutropenic, meaning that he's low in red and white blood cells. He's needed blood transfusions every two weeks to stay alive.

Having a low white cell count makes him more succeptible to infections. Last Sunday I took him into emergency because something just wasn't right. It turns out he had a bad infection. I was glad to find out that there was actually something wrong with him and he wasn't merely confused and feeble. They've had him in intensive care for six days now. I think he's finally starting to come out of the infection.

Which brings me to the next thing... A year and a half ago, there was a tumor on his lung, but they were just going to keep an eye on it. He's sick enough normally that it might not make sense to treat it. Well, now it's almost certain that it's cancer and it's advanced enough that the doctor gave him two months to live. Personally, I think he's going to pass in a matter of days.

I'm really afraid to go out and see him. The other day, he had an oxygen mask on, and they had him tied down because he was trying so hard to get it off. I don't know if I can handle seeing that.