Here's that picture again, but the other entry wasn't thoughtful.
I was downstairs in my kitchen, nuking the hell out of something in the microwave and having a conversation with myself, when I started thinking about how much it can bother me sometimes that my parents don't actually know me. And that I don't actually know them.
They've told me stories about themselves, and I know my dad's favorite colors. I know my mother always had an inclination towards a career in medicine, but I don't know what my father ever wanted to be. I know that they share similar tastes in music, and raised me on it and I still rock out with it; but I don't know what their favorite thing to do is. I don't know how they met, or how long they dated before getting married.
I don't really know anything about them, I suppose, because they've spent most of my memory and the present bad-mouthing the other and having no problems with my having to hear it impartially. And I know why they don't know me all that well; I simply can't tell or show them. My father has a thing for interrupting and ignoring most of what comes out of mouth, rolling his eyes and writing me off verbally as his "liberal daughter." My mother just views everything I do as an act of nonsense and hears what she wants to hear out of most of what I say, along with putting in extra words, insults and concepts that were not there to begin with.
It might hurt me less that their view of me is so cloudy, if I actually had been a bad kid who gave them hell. I remember ignoring my curfew just to spend time with boys I'd liked in hopes that it was love. I lied about staying over a friend's house when I had actually spent the night walking around Manhattan with a boyfriend at the time, and faced dad's anger when he found out I wasn't where I said I was. I cut class. That was really the worst of it all, that I'd done.
I also dislike knowing that people that aren't related to me find me lousy. There are two males each, one on coast west and one on coast east, who feel this way. And no, I don't expect or need everyone to like me. It's just a little disappointing, I guess, when you actually hear about it.
I'd like to make some changes.
I was downstairs in my kitchen, nuking the hell out of something in the microwave and having a conversation with myself, when I started thinking about how much it can bother me sometimes that my parents don't actually know me. And that I don't actually know them.
They've told me stories about themselves, and I know my dad's favorite colors. I know my mother always had an inclination towards a career in medicine, but I don't know what my father ever wanted to be. I know that they share similar tastes in music, and raised me on it and I still rock out with it; but I don't know what their favorite thing to do is. I don't know how they met, or how long they dated before getting married.
I don't really know anything about them, I suppose, because they've spent most of my memory and the present bad-mouthing the other and having no problems with my having to hear it impartially. And I know why they don't know me all that well; I simply can't tell or show them. My father has a thing for interrupting and ignoring most of what comes out of mouth, rolling his eyes and writing me off verbally as his "liberal daughter." My mother just views everything I do as an act of nonsense and hears what she wants to hear out of most of what I say, along with putting in extra words, insults and concepts that were not there to begin with.
It might hurt me less that their view of me is so cloudy, if I actually had been a bad kid who gave them hell. I remember ignoring my curfew just to spend time with boys I'd liked in hopes that it was love. I lied about staying over a friend's house when I had actually spent the night walking around Manhattan with a boyfriend at the time, and faced dad's anger when he found out I wasn't where I said I was. I cut class. That was really the worst of it all, that I'd done.
I also dislike knowing that people that aren't related to me find me lousy. There are two males each, one on coast west and one on coast east, who feel this way. And no, I don't expect or need everyone to like me. It's just a little disappointing, I guess, when you actually hear about it.
I'd like to make some changes.
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
manchester_black:
Today sucked sooo hardcore. So bored. I bought groceries, that was my high point. Why arent you around yet?!?!
kestrel:
Juby PEVA!