my ear fucking hurts. it hurts a lot. it is swollen and sore and pulsating and oozy. i called my doctor but in order to get antibiotics (he's a bit conservative in regard to my piercings and has refused antibiotics in the past) i told him i had a urinary tract infection. but, instead of giving me what doctors normally give (a general antibiotic like keflax) he perscribed a really expensive antibiotic just for uti's. great. pigfucker.....
yesterday was engaged in an unexpected way. i spent all day writing a research paper on human behavioral ecology for a cultural anthropology class. i have never taken any anthropology class in my life and i don't even know what hbe is. but my friend needed a research paper and didn't know what the hell he was doing so i took his few pages of unintelligable drivel and turned it into a halfway decent 10 page researh paper. it was actually kind of fun, i learned something and got to actually employ my academic writing skills instead my usual internet spew. i'm guessing that he gets at least a high c low b. The crux of his arguement is nonexistant or at leat wholly unsupported (he didn't even know what a thesis statment was when he came to me). All in all it was not my best fix up job but defiantly a major improvement over his headache inducing tense shifts and oddly inverted syntax. oy vey.
since i got nothing done yesterday, today should be packing daybut thus far it hasn't been...tonight tho, i work better at night anyway.....Plus, its not like i have anything better to do. my best freind / ex boyfriend / roomate of the last 2 1/2 years is being a total assmuppet. i understand why he is a little angry, resentful, bitter, depressed, etc...but we have been so close for the last few years and when someone who you love and care about is leaving, as a general rule you don't treat them like shit. he, unfortuanlly, must have not gotten the memo reminding him of said rule and is thus treating me worse then the lonely mounds of petrified dog poo in the back yard. in fact, he has been nothing short of cruel today. he says things like "you don't care about me at all, all you care about is *****, he is your life now and i am nothing to you," or, "why is it you pretend you want to be freinds with me when you leave when you and i both know you won't be?" does he realize how much that hurts? does he realize that he is really the only person i will miss out here? does he realize how much i love and care about him and treasure his freindship?! another thing that has me a bit disenhearted: 2 months ago he bought me /us tickets to see The Postal Service who i love and adore. it seems like a simple thing but it ment a lot to me b/c it was one of those little things you do for someone that let you know how much you care about them and think about them. its those little thingsthat make such a big difference. in addition, one of the main reasons why i didn't move to ohio a week or several ago was b/c i was looking forward to sharing that experiance with him. it isn't just about The Postal Service, its about spending time and sharing happpy experiances with someone you love before you leave and i wanted to get my fill of final happy experainces with my best freind before i moved. i thought he felt the same but in the last several weeks we have had ONE really good fun nice happy day wherewe went out and did something fun and us-like together. Anyway, back to The Postal Service Show....in one of his angry little diatribes he reminds me that he's "glad i'm fucking going b/c then i won't have to care anymore," and suggests that i find someone else to o to the show with me tomarrow. ouch. but then lets add insult to injury...."no, wait, i bought those fucking tickets, i'll find someone else to go, fuck you jov...." great. thanks. Its not so much that i care about the concert (and mind you i wholeheartedly adore the goodness which is the postal service) but its that 10 hours after the concert is over i'm scedualed to get on a plane to fucking ohio and my best friend doesn't care to share anything happy with me or to send me off in such a way that remind me that he actually cares about me as much as i care about him. i suppose its easier that way...push me away so he doesn't have to deal. i'm angry, i'm frustrated, i'm hurt, and it doesn't fucking help that i have raging female hormones, sleep deprevation, an infection in my ear, other various healing stresses on my body, a house to finish packing / cleaning blah blah blah blah blah whine whine whine rant rant rant.
i'd cry but i'll wait till i leave, when crying your heart out its nice to have someone around who actually gives a shit.
/end emo
-jovana
wow. i am impressed that you would take the time to read all of this entry (why waste your time on my dull little life when there are hot naked chicks mere clicks away). In addition to being impressed with your ability to get this far after wading through my plethora of grammatical and spelling errors, i am also either one of the following:
A) scared that you would take the time to read all this entry (in that creepy internet stalker way).
OR
B) flattered that you would take the time to read all this entry (in that "awwww, someone actually cares enough about me to read all this," kind of way)
but either way, i feel sorry for you b/c you have waaay to much free time on your hands. get up from your chair...slowly, be careful not to sprain something when you actually use what is left of your muscle mass to move something other then your hands. your back is probably a bit stiff and i bet yor ass hurts from sitting. stretch a bit. now go do something at least slightly interesting and interactive in some other location. (going out for coffee so you can stay up late and read more journal entries like this one does not count.)
/end weird
yesterday was engaged in an unexpected way. i spent all day writing a research paper on human behavioral ecology for a cultural anthropology class. i have never taken any anthropology class in my life and i don't even know what hbe is. but my friend needed a research paper and didn't know what the hell he was doing so i took his few pages of unintelligable drivel and turned it into a halfway decent 10 page researh paper. it was actually kind of fun, i learned something and got to actually employ my academic writing skills instead my usual internet spew. i'm guessing that he gets at least a high c low b. The crux of his arguement is nonexistant or at leat wholly unsupported (he didn't even know what a thesis statment was when he came to me). All in all it was not my best fix up job but defiantly a major improvement over his headache inducing tense shifts and oddly inverted syntax. oy vey.
since i got nothing done yesterday, today should be packing daybut thus far it hasn't been...tonight tho, i work better at night anyway.....Plus, its not like i have anything better to do. my best freind / ex boyfriend / roomate of the last 2 1/2 years is being a total assmuppet. i understand why he is a little angry, resentful, bitter, depressed, etc...but we have been so close for the last few years and when someone who you love and care about is leaving, as a general rule you don't treat them like shit. he, unfortuanlly, must have not gotten the memo reminding him of said rule and is thus treating me worse then the lonely mounds of petrified dog poo in the back yard. in fact, he has been nothing short of cruel today. he says things like "you don't care about me at all, all you care about is *****, he is your life now and i am nothing to you," or, "why is it you pretend you want to be freinds with me when you leave when you and i both know you won't be?" does he realize how much that hurts? does he realize that he is really the only person i will miss out here? does he realize how much i love and care about him and treasure his freindship?! another thing that has me a bit disenhearted: 2 months ago he bought me /us tickets to see The Postal Service who i love and adore. it seems like a simple thing but it ment a lot to me b/c it was one of those little things you do for someone that let you know how much you care about them and think about them. its those little thingsthat make such a big difference. in addition, one of the main reasons why i didn't move to ohio a week or several ago was b/c i was looking forward to sharing that experiance with him. it isn't just about The Postal Service, its about spending time and sharing happpy experiances with someone you love before you leave and i wanted to get my fill of final happy experainces with my best freind before i moved. i thought he felt the same but in the last several weeks we have had ONE really good fun nice happy day wherewe went out and did something fun and us-like together. Anyway, back to The Postal Service Show....in one of his angry little diatribes he reminds me that he's "glad i'm fucking going b/c then i won't have to care anymore," and suggests that i find someone else to o to the show with me tomarrow. ouch. but then lets add insult to injury...."no, wait, i bought those fucking tickets, i'll find someone else to go, fuck you jov...." great. thanks. Its not so much that i care about the concert (and mind you i wholeheartedly adore the goodness which is the postal service) but its that 10 hours after the concert is over i'm scedualed to get on a plane to fucking ohio and my best friend doesn't care to share anything happy with me or to send me off in such a way that remind me that he actually cares about me as much as i care about him. i suppose its easier that way...push me away so he doesn't have to deal. i'm angry, i'm frustrated, i'm hurt, and it doesn't fucking help that i have raging female hormones, sleep deprevation, an infection in my ear, other various healing stresses on my body, a house to finish packing / cleaning blah blah blah blah blah whine whine whine rant rant rant.
i'd cry but i'll wait till i leave, when crying your heart out its nice to have someone around who actually gives a shit.
/end emo
-jovana
wow. i am impressed that you would take the time to read all of this entry (why waste your time on my dull little life when there are hot naked chicks mere clicks away). In addition to being impressed with your ability to get this far after wading through my plethora of grammatical and spelling errors, i am also either one of the following:
A) scared that you would take the time to read all this entry (in that creepy internet stalker way).
OR
B) flattered that you would take the time to read all this entry (in that "awwww, someone actually cares enough about me to read all this," kind of way)
but either way, i feel sorry for you b/c you have waaay to much free time on your hands. get up from your chair...slowly, be careful not to sprain something when you actually use what is left of your muscle mass to move something other then your hands. your back is probably a bit stiff and i bet yor ass hurts from sitting. stretch a bit. now go do something at least slightly interesting and interactive in some other location. (going out for coffee so you can stay up late and read more journal entries like this one does not count.)
/end weird
Sounds like the ex is just coming to grips that it's over and done with and he wont have a chance to 'get you back' and all that stupid jazz people can delude themselves into thinking.
So what did you learn while doing that paper? Sounds semi-interesting.
JS