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So apparently im a bad person for not caring... and now that im shown the errors of my way, i feel like a worse person because now i have stoopid doubt that doesnt exist... and if i try to defend myself like.....

But you would never leave me

I sound like some stoopid fucking desperate shit... i dont know what to say or do... stoopid...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jonnyjester:
love all i know is i love you love

and im sorry i let what you said get to me.... but i was fine until you said something....

im done


goodnight
miao!! ooo aaa miao!! ooo aaa miao!! ooo aaa

[Edited on Oct 30, 2003 12:51PM]
jonnyjester:
To tell me that you don't think i'd ever leave you wouldn't sound dumb or psycho to me unless i'm actually planning on leaving you... which i'm not... so have at it. Use it as a mantra, say it instead of cheese sandwich, order it at the pharmacy. They won't mind.

I just hate the idea that something like that, an important part of who i am, could be taken so lightly. I don't believe that you'd have me fucking another guy as quickly as you'd have me with another girl, which was my only point. Sure, guys, in general would have their girl with another girl if given a choice, but many girls don't have the capacity to love other girls. I do.

Not to stretch this out any farther. We had a fun day. I love you lots and lots. See you when i get home.

miao!!
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So apparently im a bad person for not caring... and now that im shown the errors of my way, i feel like a worse person because now i have stoopid doubt that doesnt exist... and if i try to defend myself like.....

But you would never leave me

I sound like some stoopid fucking desperate shit... i dont know what to say or do... stoopid...
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Interesting how reading something that someone writes, can show.... relate, some kind of thing.... or subject betterly.... heh... man, i need to stoop this.... to much fun and no work make alan a bad person...... moooo.....
yellokitty:
I love you. Be crazy- it's cute.
I wanna nibble yer nose off.
With love, of course.
miao!!
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oh and behold......i am no longer ..... i dont know... im definately not something.... sober i think is the word.... mmmm..... so much goood......
suggs:
all goodness and glee feelings away?... shame shame, not enough cherry people.... booze away, you have my blessin! and, er, yeh, drugs are good too.... thtas what i meant biggrin

laters
rxqueen:
haha!!!
well don't operate any heavey machinery!!
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sweet god so much goodness love kiss ooo aaa biggrin surreal tongue mad love puke skull kiss love biggrin ooo aaa
suggs:
someone get some last night?..... biggrin
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I really hate how music makes you think things that arent there.... i wish i could be a confident person, i wish i could not fear of someone not b....... that dioesn't matter... well it does, but whatever.... im sorry ity, I worried like a dumb jealous boyfriend that i am since you weren't home by the time i fell asleep, i hate...
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mmmmm work was lame, i was terrified that we were gonna get fisted last night and it ended up being a bag of suck, but i was staffed, boy was i. like 6 insiders, and 7 drivers, all doing what i asked em to do, i dont know what to say..... i liked it alot..... mmm... my vengance to one of my roomies is at...
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marychrist:
"I do tell her i love her, and i tel her im not in love with her, and i also tell her that i dont want her to have to worry about any of my problems, because she has so many of her own.... now the contradicting part..... i want her to let me help her when she needs it, and i want her to help me now if we while we're together we get into trouble, but i dont want help in my past problems... why i dont know... i feel she shouldnt be burdened with my stuff... but if she would allow me to burden myself with her stuff then cool, cause i would love to help her out....."

Well, relationships are often messy and contradictory - nothing wrong with that - but when you both seem to be hurting you obviously need to talk things out a bit more and spend time listening to each other.
jeremyh:
The fear of being alone is always there. I learned too late about the consequences of pushing someone away. I lost her. Before it happened I used to try manifest the pain and try to create scenerios where our relationship wouldn't work out because of what I might... or what we might go through. Because of that, I would intentionally create distance to try to prevent the worst-case scenerio from happening. Then the worst case scenerio did happen: I lost her. And it had nothing to do with any of the bullshit catastophies that I thought might occur. It was my fear that ruined everything... everything. So if you want to change, you have to let go and make yourself vunerable to the person you're commited to. That's it. It's fucking hard. I still have problems with it.
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I'll be changing my pics again, just so that i can somehow show al the girls on this site that i find cute, or apealing to the eye, but fractal and cherry stay, my 2 faves, so , i dont know, so beautiful, in their own ways, but .... mmmm... dont know.... just commenting...... complementing..... whatever.

Today is the biog day. i go to work and...
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yellokitty:
bleh
So, did it go away?
miao!!

[Edited on Sep 19, 2003]
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Its amazing how long a day is when you dont sleep, i mean right now its only 8 am and im feeling fine, i've been working my ass off, i mean noot that it does me any good cause im being irresponsible with my income buying useless shite with it and wht not, but i'm having fun, its been awhi9le since i had...
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fractal:
for only $6.50 an hour? damn...
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Ha ha hah.... im in champaign right now just swung by the lbrary, saying hi to my peeps out there, "sup Peeps" i dont have much time or my computer, but i miss you kity, can't wait till i get to hold you in you arms again. Don't worry, i got the job, it only took me 2 hours of being in the...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
yellokitty:
So, if you haven't been to my journal yet, you don't yet know what a gigantic ditz i am. The court date is the 24th of SEPTEMBER. There is absolutely no reason at all whatsoever why you're there and i'm not. Not even the me-working-while-you-find-a-job thing because you found one right away and i have one all set up for me out there, i just gotta find a bus to it. SO, yeah. Hmmmm... I feel silly. And i feel like i want to rape you. And also, i feel like kissing you a lot. And having a bed day. One day. Soon. I love you tons and tons and tons. Mucho sandwiches queso, er... something.
miao!!
_risforrad:
Hey Jonny

Just checked out the baby pics. Congrats on being a dad - he's beautifulsmile
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Today is gonna be the day that blah blah blah blah.......

welcome back senores and senoritas. I am gustavo Deleon and beinvenidos a sabado gigante.....

im kinda loopy right now, i have been boring all day cause i went to work and its wednesday, and not thursday, and so much smoke and no one to smoke it with

which brings me back to what i...
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cherry:
I wish I was a part of a group like that also tongue

Chin up... things'll work out :::hugs:::

Cherry xox
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"Me and my friends, Dan and Jeff, decided to go to where my kid was, Park Falls. We took, my old car, The Pony = MIA, and Jeffs car which works fine. We drove up there and met up with a bunch of our old friends (Tim,Jake,Jeb) and hung out for a while. They always seemed to kept us from going anywhere. We then...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
freckle:
enjoy the kleenex!
yellokitty:
So weird.
You know, i've always wondered, if dreams aren't real and if they're just figments of your brain's over active imagination, then why can they affect the mood of your whole day?
Dreams are TOO real.
"The best thing about the lounge is that there's free caviar."
miao!!