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So what's up, not been here for a while... didn't forget about ya guys.

I decided not to change ,my pic.... I've changed a lot. I was a professional for a while and didn't like it. So I decide to go back to school to teach.

I'ts weird... Monet's the only one left: represent; I know she wouldn't quit on me.

Tip top lass is...
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moya:
Yes we do.
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I'm back....

It's been forever since I last posted anything. Things have sucked more than usual lately. School sucks, and I decided to leave at the end of this semester. I'm leaving Milwaukee and going back to Green Bay.

My grandmas on her deathbed and will die any month/day now. It is going to destroy my dad. My sister can't live at home any longer...
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ryan:
how are you? it's been some time...

just wandered over to say hi and give you some sugar...
kiss
danhazelton:
sAcred sKin Tattoo and Cush Lounge(1806 e north ave. milwaukees east side) are getting together for Marked Mondays this monday the 24th. giving away gift certificates, t shirts, and some of my airbrush paintings too. we will also have the collaborative drawing again, drink specials, and no cover! should be a good time and hope you can make it.
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Yo,

I'm busy n' shit...

just didn't want to keep the thanksgivin' thing up.

Stay tuned for a riveting new post soon... I'm serious. biggrin
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monet:
whoa you haven't updated in a looooooong time!
ryan:
tongue
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bok Thanksgiving bok

Some see it as a sensationalized U.S. holiday that typifies our pompus and gluttoness American culture.

They're right.

Some see it a glorification of a meeting - between Native Americans and the English - that resulted in over three hundred years of exploitation and genocide.

They're right.

And if the previous is what you want Thanksgiving to be; that's fine. However, it can be...
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ryan:
well i wrote it, and i'm sure it sucks.. whatever.. if they won't like me because of it then they are not worthy of me!! ha!

holidays are always wierd for me.. this one being my first away from my family.. at least not in the same city. my family = my mom, her man, and my longtime friends back in hell.. a handful of folk really. this year it is lilly and i.. alone. reflection time for sure. holidays..

i miss holidays when i was a kid.. i miss my family i had...
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I really have not had much to say lately, and I really don't have much to say now.

I failed an exam recently: that's never happened to me before... yet, I really don't give a shit.

I saw some friends I haven't seen in a while. I taught a buddy of mine how to please a woman, that was kind of funny.

I'm really indifferent...
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ryan:
awww.. shucks...

YOU sure are sweet!

you taught a friend of yours how to please a woman? what did you do? did you hump pillows in front of him so he could see? hehehe... funny you!
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In general... people exist in three variable shades at any given time:

Those who have lived;

Those who live;

Those who will live.

In the spectrum those who live and those who will live both want to live.

In contrast, those who have lived see living as inconsequencial. As a result, those who have live see things most clearly and most unclearly. Those that seem...
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I don't understand why people go to casinos...

Actually, that's not true... I understand the initial motivation. However, I don't understand how the people - in question - can be so nieve for so long.

This coming from, after the bars last night, a buddy and I went to the casino. I watched him blow three hundred bucks at the craps tables. The tragic thing...
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ryan:
i bought the best new shower head...its on a 6 foot hose and has a rapid massage function....
i love my shower now....alot.
he he....
so it's funny you mention the gambling thing because i was just talking to my roomie about it last night... they have these computerized gambling games at the bar we were at last night and she said to me, "i don't know why i keep playing, but i do!" the answer is simple...from a behaviorist perspective anyway...
behaviors that are rewarded are more likely to re-occur in similar situations, behaviors that are not rewarded (punished) are less likely to re-occur in similar situations. people become hooked into gambling because when you are gambling, you are being rewarded on a variable intermittent reinforcement scale, which basically means you can not predict when you will be reinforced-when you will be winning. So the behavior continues; you keep betting....all because you really don't know when you are going to win or lose...
anticipating money/winning unfortnately is rewarding to most people in our society.

and as far as masturbating is concerned... well pretty much every time you do it, you are rewarded so you just keep on doin it....
wink
monet:
damn you're right about relieving stress by playing with my miao!!

It works so well.

Anyways, I've never been to a casino, but I'll be 21 on wednesday, and maybe I'll go just to go.

take care of yourself.
kiss
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smile
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ryan:
he he....youre funny...
what the heck... how are you anyways??
ryan:
i'm doing better...
i think my meds were not working-
i switched from real prozac to generic.. and well it is not the same.. so i am going to wean myself off them...
i don't need them here.. don't have the same probs as i did back in hell....
finally getting out and meeting people tho, so it's been good...
lots of drinking...
but now i'm broke...waiting for payday...
ho hum....
but things are looking sunnier in my skies, so that is good...
finally!
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I haven't written anything for days....

I'm becoming more complacent with the decision I made. I say "complacent" because I'm not "comfortable" and certainly am not "happy" with it.

Shades of gray as they say. wink

Anywho, excited for Halloween I am. It's one of the only times you can look like a freak and be admired for it.

I'm going to be a samurai. It's...
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nikki_darling:
I plan on being a drunk, who makes an ass out of herself, like I do every year. Costume is secondary. wink
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Kids... don't shoot for the stars, you'll only fuck up your life.

I had a really shitty life growing - worst than most without suffering you the details.

When I got out of highschool I had the ghetto aspiration complex. I wanted to go to college... make tons of money, the whole lot. I started to go school for anthropology (I was going to write...
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ryan:
i totally know what you are talking about....more than you will ever know...
i dropped out of college with one year left to go on my BAE-i would have been set...a career that i loved, comfortable pay, benefits...but i stopped and left it all behind...to persue what? getting away from an environment that made me unhappy...
i may have fucked my teaching career... but i don't care.. .
this feeling of happy i feel is worth more to me than any job stability...any career...
these feelings will all work out in the long run.. they always do...
i think...
kiss
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I've not been feeling the greatest lately, and I'm still not. So that's why the following will be lacking:

I'm looking for purpose... in someone or something. Oh, well shocked
monet:
Oh hunnay, if you need to talk, you can email me, or IM me if you want.

AIM: monetsuicide

I hope things get better sweetie!
kiss