what have i been doing? working, working and working even more. on weekends i do more work than i have been during the week but that's ok. i should be starting work on my bike soon which is ok, but i missed Dark Nights last weekend in Markham so that kinda sucks. i also gotta find a roommate in the next few weeks for my...
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Ahhhh, it's been awhile. well, i'm pretty bummed. life has dealt me a shitty hand today but hopefully it'll get better.
why should i care?
you weren't there when i was scared
i was so alone...
why should i care?
you weren't there when i was scared
i was so alone...
johnnyfive:
1. i think it was 2 kids in the ewoks movie. something like they crashed on endor and we're rescued sans parents by the ewoks ala jungle book.
2. this site teems with loney people so you're amongst sympathizers
2. this site teems with loney people so you're amongst sympathizers
sqook:
You'll make it out ok. Things always turn out good in the end; it's just getting to the ending that's the rocky part of the story.
Well i got the 2 nob tattoos....what can i say, the one on the head hurt like shit but i enjoy the pain. the one on the shaft was nothing, just felt like getting an ordinary tattoo. they've almost totally healed up by now. all i need now is to meet someone in this big city. any live out here (scarborough/markham area)??? i know hardly...
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rumpusparable:
ok, on effexor... this is cut & pasted from an old post of mine that i saved because i had a lot of people asking over the years... it's a long list, so i'm chopping it into 2 comments.
these effects here started slowly as just stronger signs of depression & caused my doc to up my dosage thinking i need more to counteract them.. it wasn't until it got severe that it finally clicked for me that the effexor was the problem. these were both during & up to after about 3mths of being completely weaned off (i started at about 75mg or so & was up to 300mg by the end).
violent thoughts
violent self-harming
anxiety
jittery
lost-time
dizzy
forgetful
distractable
disjointed thought
screaming, throwing things, violent rages
(am bipolar) triggered first 2 ever hypomania & mania spells
tunnel-vision
night-paralysis/waking nightmares/hallucinations
bizarre dreams
anxiety-based non-violent self-harm
random suicidal thoughts (no volition, just images)
"personality perception problems" (coined by the blonde counselor) for an odd fully co-conscious yet dissociating thought/behavior
other things i know i forgot......
these effects here started slowly as just stronger signs of depression & caused my doc to up my dosage thinking i need more to counteract them.. it wasn't until it got severe that it finally clicked for me that the effexor was the problem. these were both during & up to after about 3mths of being completely weaned off (i started at about 75mg or so & was up to 300mg by the end).
violent thoughts
violent self-harming
anxiety
jittery
lost-time
dizzy
forgetful
distractable
disjointed thought
screaming, throwing things, violent rages
(am bipolar) triggered first 2 ever hypomania & mania spells
tunnel-vision
night-paralysis/waking nightmares/hallucinations
bizarre dreams
anxiety-based non-violent self-harm
random suicidal thoughts (no volition, just images)
"personality perception problems" (coined by the blonde counselor) for an odd fully co-conscious yet dissociating thought/behavior
other things i know i forgot......
rumpusparable:
part 2, 3mths plus after being weaned fully up until currently (4yrs + after full weaning)
disjointed thought
violent urges &/or rages
forgetful
lost-time
daily semi-constant anxiety
random suicidal thoughts (no volition, just images)
suicidal & self-harm thoughts when upset (little to no volition usually, again just images... occasionally volition tho)
anxiety-based urge to break things
the "personality perception problems"
and maybe more....
with correct meds, i'm now able to control the urges & anxiety on a daily basis and even have some good days... but it's always with me & sneaks up if my good med starts failing.. i basically came out of it w/300% more problems after effexor than i had prior. and the problems look to be permanent. i have noticeable, daily, diminshed mental capacity.. i can feel that i'm slower & being so forget and losing time are scary sometimes.
oh, and i forgot, i also wet the bed twice (ON my husband, dear god lol) while first weaning and then a few months later. thank god that went away lol... oh, the bonding moments of marriage....
[Edited on May 07, 2003]
disjointed thought
violent urges &/or rages
forgetful
lost-time
daily semi-constant anxiety
random suicidal thoughts (no volition, just images)
suicidal & self-harm thoughts when upset (little to no volition usually, again just images... occasionally volition tho)
anxiety-based urge to break things
the "personality perception problems"
and maybe more....
with correct meds, i'm now able to control the urges & anxiety on a daily basis and even have some good days... but it's always with me & sneaks up if my good med starts failing.. i basically came out of it w/300% more problems after effexor than i had prior. and the problems look to be permanent. i have noticeable, daily, diminshed mental capacity.. i can feel that i'm slower & being so forget and losing time are scary sometimes.
oh, and i forgot, i also wet the bed twice (ON my husband, dear god lol) while first weaning and then a few months later. thank god that went away lol... oh, the bonding moments of marriage....
[Edited on May 07, 2003]
Well this is it, i get the nob done today 
which means no play for me for a week or two if i can even get any. but hey, i can just take her of her needs all night long. i'm also moving to scarborough today, h is nice. bigger city and i'll actually have things to do.
which means no play for me for a week or two if i can even get any. but hey, i can just take her of her needs all night long. i'm also moving to scarborough today, h is nice. bigger city and i'll actually have things to do.
sare:
yeah for SLC punk!! lol..aw i havent watched that in FOREVER!!
hm..gettin your nob done?like...pierced? fill me in yo! yeah for SG partyin in muskoka!
SAre
hm..gettin your nob done?like...pierced? fill me in yo! yeah for SG partyin in muskoka!
SAre
ya....drunk again...i fucked off from work early today to visit the local tat shop WayCool Tattoos to book an appointment for saturday...i'm getting 2 more tats on my nob. everyone owes me a beer afterwards.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
aster:
i have got to find out what a nob is.
joco:
it's a penis
hey anyone who's there....i don't think anyone will read my journal but that's ok....i will . going to bed early tonite....gotta work for 5:00 am. well it's my first day on here and i'm feeling ok, i think i can still ride home even though i'm a little tipsy right now....anyone from ontario? i know there is an industrial club somewhere in toronto, if you...
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. going to bed early tonite....gotta work for 5:00 am. well it's my first day on here and i'm feeling ok, i think i can still ride home even though i'm a little tipsy right now....anyone from ontario? i know there is an industrial club somewhere in toronto, if you... Read More
bigpunkmike:
hey...there's lots of us from ontario. Most of my friends page are from ontario. Don't know about the industrial club...I'll ask my gf and let ya know