BUY TICKETS

Sat sep
21
2019

SuicideGirls: Blackheart Burlesque

Houston, TX

Warehouse Live
SEE ALL TOUR DATES
Login
Forgot Password?
  • Home
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats Tip

jeckyl

Winterfell

SG Since 2011

Followers 3290 Following 120

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Irrelevant

Sep 7, 2016
35
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

In October, I will be celebrating 5 years as a SuicideGirl. This is a pretty huge deal to a girl who dreamed of this honour for years.

But it's also scary.

The older I get, the more I feel like I'm too old to be here.

The site has changed, the girls have changed and I feel like a fish out of water.

Competition is getting stiff.

When I went pink, there was no doubt in my mind that this is where I wanted/needed/had always dreamed of being.

But now when I look at the girls who go FP, I feel like I just can't compete.

I feel irrelevant. I don't know how rational that thought is but it's true.

I look at girls like @Katherine who went pink literally the day before I did and how far she's come and wonder what exactly I have to show for the last 5 years of my modelling career.

I've squandered an opportunity. I've wasted my dream.

I need some kind of revamp or reboot or to revitalise my belief in my dream.

Wow. I sound so emo.

I miss you all so much.

I miss waking up every morning and spending hours on SG chat, going through sets, making new friends.

I miss the sense of community and love and support.

It's probably my own fault. I walked away and, when I came back, nobody knew who I was anymore.

Nobody seemed to care.

I think it's definitely time for a new set. Joining new groups. Making new friends.

Reigniting the spark and the passion.

I love this place. I love these people.

I love being a SuicideGirl.

I never want to forget that.

Much love,

J

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
andrealaz:
I would really really like to photograph you when I'm there! I messaged you a couple of times :)
Feb 18, 2017
shadowofnick:
We miss you. You are gorgeous and can compete with anyone on here. Hope you return one day. 
Oct 5, 2017

More Blogs

  • 09.07.16
    12

    Irrelevant

    In October, I will be celebrating 5 years as a SuicideGirl. This...
  • 04.14.16
    9

    Who else thinks it's time for a new set??? :O

  • 12.06.15
    0

    Miss Bombshell Betty 2015

    Hello hello darlings!! Recently I had the great pleasure in pa...
  • 09.20.15
    4

    Hello hi!!

    Just thought I'd pop by to let you all know I'm still alive... ...
  • 04.12.14
    5

    Life

    Hello hello everybunny! I've been meaning to update but I don'...
  • 03.05.14
    34

    Amazing pics!

    I just thought I'd share this set of photo's with you because I ...
  • 02.17.14
    11

    SURPRISE!!

    Hello hello everybunny!! In case you haven't noticed, I ha...
  • 12.26.13
    23

    Just popping in to wish eveyone a very Merry Christmas!

  • 11.15.13
    14

    Home sweet home

    Hello hello everybunny!! Man it's so good to be bac...
  • 06.01.13
    28

    Saturday Jun 01, 2013

    Hello everybunny, it's been a while. I haven't been AWOL, I'm on...

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

17
years
5
months
20
days
  • 6,337,541 fans
  • 7,789 fans
  • 5,956,874 followers
  • 3,387 SuicideGirls
  • 626,082 followers
  • 10,670,468 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 49,897,705 comments
  • Home
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Epoch Billing Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2019

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Join Now! Members see even more...

Crop your photo