jcup

So, I made alot of drastic changes in my life tonight. I decided to quit work and have a seperation with my girlfriend. I weighed out the pros and cons, not carefully though. I just know that to keep sane, I had to do both. Both were making me unhappy. I didnt think that they were, but it all came clear like an appifany. So...
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AHhhh... feels good to be back. I felt like I was out of town for a long time. It feels strange to be back and to get use to everything again. Im mostly happy about being with my girlfriend again. That's what sucked most about being gone. The lack of showers, 12 hour work days, and shitty sleeping situation could have all been ignored if...
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I had nightmares all last night. I've been in a transitional mood as well. Things are kinda tough right now... so as a result alot of things are coming clear to me. I see that there are things that I need to be happy. Before I didnt know what it was. I see now that I will never be truly happy til I make some...
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Im back for a few hours from the fair. I miss my girl so much. That's the worse part of the fair. I hate being away from her. It's a relief to see her or smell her after being away. A little longer and I'll be back. I cant wait. Im so excited. Anyways gotta get some sleep before I have to go back.

Time is allmost up. I feel less nervous today though. Im not happy about being away from my girl for so long. Not liking that at all actually. But in the end it will all be for the better. I cant believe that in less than a month we are leaving this frozen hell. I think that the excitement will kick in as soon as...
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Im so fucking nervous. Im trying to get everything together to move. There are a million things to do to make that happen. The crunch on time is fucking amazing. Gotta be out of the apartment by the 15 of september. In that time have to fix a car + sell it, pack all shit, get school loan shit done, get ID from someone, sell...
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So much to do before moving to Portland, and so little time. Im super nervous about the whole thing. Im sure that everything will be Ok. It's just all happening so fast, and there are so many things to do. Well no need to worry about it. Till next time...

Good times are a comin. I've been having the best few days. Alot of sex, a lot of quality time, and alot of lovin. Well, no time to waste. Im going to bed

I've rewrote this journal entry several times due to my extreme emotional state and my inability to put it into words. I am frustrated, mad, tired, and very uncomfortable. I want to leave, vent my anger, destroy something, and say fuck it. Then start a new life again. No ties, no baggage, no debts, no nothing. A clean slate. I feel hopeless about every current...
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I've been staying home being sick for the last 2 days from bad sushi. Sucks ass. I dont really have much to say, so off to lay with my girl.