I've spent more time than humanly imaginable searching for relevance in my existing in this universe, and there IS NONE. It is the perpetuation of human suffering and it increases at an exponential rate and it only afflicts a given proportion of all existing entities. It is chaos theory personified.
I know it's pointless to discuss, but there has never once in my life been a reasonable explanation for anything I required there to be one for.
Maybe there is comfort in that, the fact despite there being no answer to anything, there are at least a few people who can honestly relate to unending misery disguised as a "can-do attitude" and endless perseverence.
I know it's pointless to discuss, but there has never once in my life been a reasonable explanation for anything I required there to be one for.
Maybe there is comfort in that, the fact despite there being no answer to anything, there are at least a few people who can honestly relate to unending misery disguised as a "can-do attitude" and endless perseverence.
I can certainly empathize. To a certain degree, I have beem where you've been. You seem to be even more nihilistic than I was at 18. I don't want to sound preachy, but the attitude that you convey here, and which I suspect is conveyed in real life as well, will continue to prevent anyone from falling for you. People pick up on that and perceive it as a turn off. I know, because I have this problem as well. You can't just say "OK, I'm going to be happy today and everything will be better". I don't know...it basically took me 30 years to do anything about my depression. I look back on my youth as completely wasted opportunities. It's hard to be optimistic. Everyone is different, but I started taking various medications a few years ago and a lot of those negative feelings no longer arise. I never thought pills were the answer, probably because I didn't see the issue an internal. The problem, to me, was always external.
It's late & I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this, besides the fact that you seem really smart and introspective, you have good taste in women and you live in the same city as the SGs. So, basically, as I see it, you have a lot going for you. I probably sound like something a dad would say - I didn't mean to. I'm not telling you what to do, but if you ever wanna talk about anything, you know where I am. OK, I sound like the biggest douchebag, but I'm serious.
Please forgive my idiocy amd conclusion-jumping. I truly am a douche-bag.