To celebrate New Years Eve, I'm going to share a poem with you all. I wrote this months ago when I watched my friend dancing at Salsa night. It's fitting for the moment. Enjoy your New Years.
Lone Star
I can feel the music
singing to my soul
I'm all alone
But I dance with Love
She is the only one for me
I dance...
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Lone Star
I can feel the music
singing to my soul
I'm all alone
But I dance with Love
She is the only one for me
I dance...
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The present and my death are always present in my mind. When we realize one day we will die, it makes life and the present more beautiful, because every day is beautiful even in the face of the horrors of the world. You lose the fear of life and lose the anxiety about "what ifs". You learn to not care about the bad consequences and...
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I can't wait for this divorce to be over and done with. No more drama...
The men will continue to leave her as long as she continues to punish them for her past, ex-husbands/boyfriends and her parents. Never live in the past, because the good men in the present will pass you by. Leave your baggage and demons where they are and move on...
She's...
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The men will continue to leave her as long as she continues to punish them for her past, ex-husbands/boyfriends and her parents. Never live in the past, because the good men in the present will pass you by. Leave your baggage and demons where they are and move on...
She's...
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amberetta:
WOW! She sounds like a piece of work. I hope the divorce is finalized ASAP!! Aaaaaaand... if by mellow out that means going through menopause... not likely. Women are still crazy after that as well.
imaxtoy:
She is a piece of work and so am I. I don't know how and why I'm able to pick the crazy ones in a crowd and I'm so drawn to them. I mean... working in the behavioral health field for 6 years now tells me why, but.... humanly, why do we do the things that drive us crazy??? It's the crazy high... that's it.... It's like a drug to get wrapped in the craziness of a wild woman. I'm so much the opposite. Calm, collected, logical.... it's like I crave the craziness to break me out of my own stability... The only thing I wonder about is how the heck do I have the sixth sense of finding them in a sea of women.
I just want to be attracted to a normal sane woman for once... but.... I find them boring.... like me.
I just want to be attracted to a normal sane woman for once... but.... I find them boring.... like me.
So many factors for why I'm depressed. Life is absurd. I have no good reason to be depressed, yet the small things add up to it. I want to wander into a frozen tundra, get lost in a blizzard, and fall peacefully into that forever sleep...
I woke up to a startle. My roommate was screaming as if he was being killed. He was punching the wall. He was having a nightmare. A really bad one that scared the shit outta me. This is the nightmare of PTSD.
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imaxtoy:
Yeah, he's ok. It's just a dream. I had PTSD about my childhood, so I can understand the pain of waking up from crap like that. I kinda resolved my own by finding closure. So I hope he finds his resolution one day...
amberetta:
Ah gotcha! I'm glad you got closure for yours. I hope he does too!! I couldn't imagine.
I took a mid-morning nap and I ended up having a dream about learning Kung Fu. Then it transitioned into Kung Pooh and I learned Tigger style... LOL... SMH... weird.
The premonition of my mother's death seems to be coming true. 
floxy:
stick it
stick it
I'm being plagiarized by a fellow student in my online class. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. I am amused.
We must learn that true happiness never comes from outside of us. We create our own happiness and we share it with others. The happiness that we discover in ourselves is an eternal source. The happiness that others give us can only be given so much before that person will burn out or must withdraw to recharge. This is why it's important to love oneself.
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chrysis:
All very good points. It's just a matter of self-control, and it's way too easy a place to fail.
imaxtoy:
@Chrysis: *smiles* It's only easy to fail, because you believe that. The world inside of you is only yours. No one controls that universe. It really boils down to you choosing to fail yourself or not. When you can break that belief, you break your bondage to doubt and insecurity. The only limits that exist to me in this world are the physical limits. When it comes to your mind and soul, your possibilities are limited to what you want to believe. How to reach those core beliefs? Well... Maybe I can show everyone in the blog world one day... It's quite a process...
People have forgotten the spirit of Christmas: love and charity. Giving to those in need, charity. Giving to spoil your kids, gifts. The act of giving has been lost to the corporate holiday. This is why I hate Christmas. So many have learned about Christmas through experiences such as TV commercials, shopping at the mall, and parties. Not a lot of people have had experiences...
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LOL, I'm an idiot. I posted earlier, thinking that my posts will post up to the blog void of SG, but I realized the latest blogs pop up in the activity feed in the Members section. *facepalm*
On another note: I scared another one off with my honesty. Hmmm. I guess the truth is too much for people to handle or I'm a jerk who...
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On another note: I scared another one off with my honesty. Hmmm. I guess the truth is too much for people to handle or I'm a jerk who...
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There's one thing I love about having a secret blog. I can tell you, my nonexistent reader, anything and I would feel safe. I can't do that on Facebook. I know there is no one I know here and so I can truly say what's on my mind without shame or regret.