the following is proof that i don't get paid enough.
uncool people who came into the bar last night:
1. two teenagers with sunken faces and dingy kurt cobain hair, dressed like the kind of kids who hang out at the mall making a big effort to look weird, with rats on their shoulders. yes, rats. pet ones, i assume. unfortunately they spoke to no one, and made no attempt to order drinks. i could have had a lot of fun with that.
2. the arm-wrestling, super obnoxious guy from the last entry. always waiting until i'm busy serving paying customers, then asking for a pen, or for me to light a candle that's gone out, or to talk about something random that happened three weeks ago. and not shutting up. ever. not even long enough for me to answer whatever stupid question he might have just asked me. he also got into a fight with the man detailed below, who, upon finding out mr. arm wrestling champ was homophobic, proceded to hit on him (complete with invasion of personal space, attempted back rubs, and sexually explicit suggestions) for the better part of an hour.
3. dumb white guy from up north somewhere. who thinks he knows how the world works, exactly. telling my regulars about his multiple sexual encounters with two or more women at once, the evils of the union, and , my favorite, telling them they should be out looking for jobs instead of sitting in the bar. keep in mind, this is five in the morning, and this dude is definitely sitting in a bar himself. he also is more enlightened than anyone on the planet, apparently. and he spent two hours driving around bad neighborhoods with my corner boys (the crack dealers). he was very offended when i said he was lucky his dumb white ass didn't get robbed or shot. he then accused me of being racist because i didn't think it was a good idea to get into a car with crack dealers and drive to whereabouts unknown. he then lectured me on race relations, making a point to tell me it was his intention to break down the greater social boundaries of the south. single handedly. he also claimed to be able to cook fish better than anyone in the bar.
sometimes, i have sudden realizations to the effect of, "oh dear, this really is my life, isn't it?"
uncool people who came into the bar last night:
1. two teenagers with sunken faces and dingy kurt cobain hair, dressed like the kind of kids who hang out at the mall making a big effort to look weird, with rats on their shoulders. yes, rats. pet ones, i assume. unfortunately they spoke to no one, and made no attempt to order drinks. i could have had a lot of fun with that.
2. the arm-wrestling, super obnoxious guy from the last entry. always waiting until i'm busy serving paying customers, then asking for a pen, or for me to light a candle that's gone out, or to talk about something random that happened three weeks ago. and not shutting up. ever. not even long enough for me to answer whatever stupid question he might have just asked me. he also got into a fight with the man detailed below, who, upon finding out mr. arm wrestling champ was homophobic, proceded to hit on him (complete with invasion of personal space, attempted back rubs, and sexually explicit suggestions) for the better part of an hour.
3. dumb white guy from up north somewhere. who thinks he knows how the world works, exactly. telling my regulars about his multiple sexual encounters with two or more women at once, the evils of the union, and , my favorite, telling them they should be out looking for jobs instead of sitting in the bar. keep in mind, this is five in the morning, and this dude is definitely sitting in a bar himself. he also is more enlightened than anyone on the planet, apparently. and he spent two hours driving around bad neighborhoods with my corner boys (the crack dealers). he was very offended when i said he was lucky his dumb white ass didn't get robbed or shot. he then accused me of being racist because i didn't think it was a good idea to get into a car with crack dealers and drive to whereabouts unknown. he then lectured me on race relations, making a point to tell me it was his intention to break down the greater social boundaries of the south. single handedly. he also claimed to be able to cook fish better than anyone in the bar.
sometimes, i have sudden realizations to the effect of, "oh dear, this really is my life, isn't it?"
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And did I ever tell you about the time I fooled around with two women? Dude, there's nothing sweeter than disappointing two naked chicks at the same time!