hyenahell

so i decided i was going to take a bath today.

i never take baths except when i'm home at my folks' house. i had a tub in my old apartment, but it was never... well, clean enough. i blame the old man, really. he's a dirty son of a bitch. so i decided to take a bath. i figure i might do some contemplating. drift away into some day-dream. you know, just kick back and relax. in any case, i lie in the tub for, oh, five minutes, and i realized i'm just not patient enough. i can't relax. i think i'm back on my manic cycle, which might have something to do with it. but i can't relax. i get nervous. i think of other shit i could be doing. i fidget. it's not boredom. it's just... well, kind of like when i try to watch movies. i have to be doing something else, too. and this bath thing... hell. just lying there? what's that? at least with showers you can move a bit. there's just nothing to do in a bath. you can't rightly sing like you do in a shower. there's something silly about lying in water and belting out guns -n- roses. i mean, ever try to head bang in a prone position? it ain't happening. i guess i could've read a book. but i was already in the bath. i couldn't get a book and then get back in. fuck. so. i jump up, drain the water and take a shower.

much better. and i think, wow. there's something seriously wrong with me.

maybe i'll go and find a nice puddle of filth to roll in.