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hellstorm

Gates, NY

Member Since 2003

Followers 199 Following 311

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Thursday Dec 02, 2004

Dec 2, 2004
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wow, someone reads this! nice. actually kind of a nice feeling to know that someone out there has taken interest.

sorry I haven't updated this much. I do have another journal I have on-line. Livejournal.com. my username is KleptoeOne. yes, I mis-spelled the word on purpose. the only thing you want to be careful of is the fact that I write quite depressingly. even to the point where people freak. please don't freak if you read what I wrote!

hmm, not much else going on in my life. I'm seriously thinking of a career change. perhaps going back to Grad School. leaving Higher Education to work as a school counselor. less stress. less hours. and I get away from the politics that seem to permeate Higher Education now!

outside of that, nothing really. still single. still hating it. the "friend" of mine that I thought was interested in me over the summer, who knows. I'm starting to think she's afraid of relationships. I've known of at least 2 that she shot down. always has reasons why she doesn't want to date. and usually not from her (for me, it was "It will never be excepted where I go to school, my parents won't approve, I don't want my first relationship to be a dsitance one....." what does that sound like to you?

hmm, outside of that, not too much else. my counselor has me reading books about personality style. although she hasn't even gotten a hint (I do believe) about the fact that I have depression as well probably. I've hinted a littel bit, but she hasn't really noticed. then again, the EAP Program where I work is contracted to a family and child counseling center, so I'm guessing I'm outside of their element.

outside of that, time for me to start hating life. it was 4 years this past Friday (the Friday after Thanksgiving) that I was dumped for good by my last girlfriend. and, well, with the way my dating history has been, I've been in serious relationships from mid-March through the end of November. single during Christmas, New Years, that infernal Hallmark Holiday in February, and my birthday. not ways I intended. at 29, it does suck to never know what its like to be with someone special at these times. add to the fact that everyone else in my family is happily dating (some even married with family), and, well, a nice way for me to feel like an oddball even in my own family!

oh well, what is one to do? wish for some miracle that I might find someone interested in me. or that someone changes their mind. or simply give up and stop caring. which is kind of fun too!

ahhh, the life of an introvert that no one seems to understand!

but, I do thank those who leave comments. it actually makes me feel as if someone out there cares! which doesn't happen too much with me. one of those people who can feel totally alone in a building with about 60 other people living here as well! whatever

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