so fun news on the horizon....
as many of those who contact me on a regular basis know, my cousin is going through a divorce. long story short...his wife last year started going out 5 to 7 nights a week with a group of female co-workers of hers, drinking and partying it up. she would leave my cousin alone all night, with no vehicle (at that time, they only had one van) with their three children (ages 7 through 1). she would end up coming home any time between 4 AM and 8 AM. during this time, she started a relationship with one of the female co-workers, and in October, after a night out partying, things escalated to the point where she punched him in the jaw, he pushed her back to get her off of him, and she went nuts on him, saying that he hit her and that she was going to wait until the New Year to tell him, but no more, she wants a divorce. he was "I'm not getting into a fight here."
since then, he was sleeping on the couch, as she put a lock on her bedroom door (oddly enough, not used during the night since she was out all night long). things finally came to a head in December when, after making him over 1/2 hour late opening his business and not answering her cell phone despite repeated calls, she filed harrassment charges against him. included in the charges was a statement of him attempting suicide and having suicidal thoughts...knowing full well that his father committed suicide in 2004 (in December, too). before that, she did a bunch of things, and it was to the point where she only bought food for the house sometimes, he was paying everything else.
so finally in December, after contacting a lawyer and everything, my cousin filed for divorce, stating cruel treatment on her part. he did not have it confirmed about the affair.
all sorts of stuff later, and in the end of May, he comes home to find the house cleaned out (99% of the shared belongings gone, only his personal stuff left behind) and his kids gone. thankfully he moved his comic book collection and other such items (such as photographs of a Van Halen concert, front row, when Sammy Hagar was with the band) from his house to his store. included in his comic collection that he moved was a run of the Avengers comic books...included the first modern day appearance of Captain America (hmm, movie coming out...it'll go up in value!). she left no contact, and the school bus driver told him that she told their middle child, Xavier (in pre-school at the time) that this was the last day he was riding this bus and that he would not see his dad again, and then sent him to school.
all sorts of crap ensues, he finally does get to see his kids, but she's trying to set things up where she's the custodial parent....gotta be custodial to maximize public assistance.
well, recently, each one sent the other one their proposals. her proposal included my cousin paying her $7000 for the "appreciation value of the house and his business" (the house has actually probably gone down in value due to the housing market crash and her "improvements" around the house that need to be re-done correctly...and the judge hearing the case told her repeatedly that my cousin's business was well established before the marriage and she has NO claim on it), full child support, a visitation schedule where he sees them 4 days one week, and then 2 days the next week, he has to comply with her demands regarding the children, and so forth. she stated that she only took her personal belongings from the house (like the washer and dryer that came with the house?) and that her business degree (which she got while they were married, where he supported her as she went back to get her degree) was "nominal" because it was only an Associated degree (which is enough to get her store manager level....making $60,000+ a year). she also gets to claim at least 2 of the 3 children for tax purposes.
his proposal was pretty much this....
50/50 full-joint custody. one week with him, one week with her.
one year, he claims 2 children, she claims 1. following her, he claims 1 child, she claims 2.
child support where its at.
she can not leave Monroe County with the children (she took them to Syracuse this summer to see her girlfriend's family...without notifying my cousin)
child support at its current level (less than full, it pretty much evens out their incomes)
she returns 50% of the children's toys, clothes, and family photographs
the children are registered through his address (his house) for determing what school they attend
the girlfriend can not be left alone with the children.
so I called my cousin to see what happened...he's what he said was the pre-liminary agreement....
50/50 full-joint custody, she gets the kids one week, he gets them one week.
unless she makes $20,000 a year or more, he gets to claim 2 children for tax purposes. if she makes that much money in a year, then it flip flops (the 2 one year, 1 the following year)
she can not leave the Town of Greece with the children.
the children are registered through his address unless a situation arises where she is in the zone to send the children to Greece Athena (where the money is)
the girlfriend can not be left alone with the children
she is to return 50% of the toys and clothes of the children as well as all negatives of their pictures so my cousin can choose what he wants
she still wants the full chiild support. my cousin is planning on telling her "Look, leave it where its at and be done with it. it also means that if you end up making more money than me, I'll still be paying this amount."
if she does not agree, then its trial...where he goes after 1/2 of what she took, has her pay 1/2 the marital debt (he's willing to take on all the marital debt, no qualms about it...about a $20,000 personal loan to pay off credit card bills and such) and she could wind up having no custody of the children.
if they go to trial....his witnesses can include....
her father
her mother
her brother
the person that was "observing" him at one time (that has witnessed her smoking in front of the children and all sorts of other things...like saying that if my cousin only gave her X amount of money, certain accusations of child abuse would not have happened)
his family
her family
who would she have?
her girlfriend....that she has known for about 1 1/2 years now.
so me wonders where things go....they get this paper signed, they become legally seperated for about a year, and then divorced. and if she goes back to bitch about stuff....oh well, you signed.
so yeah, good news for my cousin, right?
and in other news, no word on my step-father's mother. she has (what he says) are 2 aneurysms in the brain (frontal lobe). she is also approaching 90 and not only has watched her grandchildren grow up, but seen her great-grandchildren (oldest is 14 or so, youngest is 2). she has traveled and done all she wants...now its a matter of passing on.
and in still other news....evidently one of the coordinators where I work (think semi-manager) is being stalked by her ex-boyfriend (that used to work at the same store...until he got caught smoking pot while on the clock). she broke up with him 3 months ago, and now he's calling her and her parents all the time, stuff like that. last night, she left around 12:15 AM or so....me being the overnight cashier walked her to her car and watched until she left. I asked her if she knows where the nearest police station is (she knew) and told her if she feels that she is being followed, drive to the nearest police station. I recommended talking to one of our security guards (retired Sheriff' Deputy and Probation Officer), she might talk to her mother's boyfriend (I think retired law enforcment). and today, my front-end manager asked about how she was doing....so its something big. she won't ask for help (she'll clear the lot of carts at night by herself...she carries mace and a box cutter). so for her to ask means a lot. and yes, she did thank me for making sure she got to her car safely.
so fun night...and the week has just started!
EDIT LATER TODAY...
and my 2nd cousin in North Carolina called. she had her third child. 6 lbs, 4 oz., 18 inches long (probably less than 3 kg and 45.72 cm long).
and a job interview Thursday....for a substitute teacher position in the school district I reside in...what questions could they ask me?
as many of those who contact me on a regular basis know, my cousin is going through a divorce. long story short...his wife last year started going out 5 to 7 nights a week with a group of female co-workers of hers, drinking and partying it up. she would leave my cousin alone all night, with no vehicle (at that time, they only had one van) with their three children (ages 7 through 1). she would end up coming home any time between 4 AM and 8 AM. during this time, she started a relationship with one of the female co-workers, and in October, after a night out partying, things escalated to the point where she punched him in the jaw, he pushed her back to get her off of him, and she went nuts on him, saying that he hit her and that she was going to wait until the New Year to tell him, but no more, she wants a divorce. he was "I'm not getting into a fight here."
since then, he was sleeping on the couch, as she put a lock on her bedroom door (oddly enough, not used during the night since she was out all night long). things finally came to a head in December when, after making him over 1/2 hour late opening his business and not answering her cell phone despite repeated calls, she filed harrassment charges against him. included in the charges was a statement of him attempting suicide and having suicidal thoughts...knowing full well that his father committed suicide in 2004 (in December, too). before that, she did a bunch of things, and it was to the point where she only bought food for the house sometimes, he was paying everything else.
so finally in December, after contacting a lawyer and everything, my cousin filed for divorce, stating cruel treatment on her part. he did not have it confirmed about the affair.
all sorts of stuff later, and in the end of May, he comes home to find the house cleaned out (99% of the shared belongings gone, only his personal stuff left behind) and his kids gone. thankfully he moved his comic book collection and other such items (such as photographs of a Van Halen concert, front row, when Sammy Hagar was with the band) from his house to his store. included in his comic collection that he moved was a run of the Avengers comic books...included the first modern day appearance of Captain America (hmm, movie coming out...it'll go up in value!). she left no contact, and the school bus driver told him that she told their middle child, Xavier (in pre-school at the time) that this was the last day he was riding this bus and that he would not see his dad again, and then sent him to school.
all sorts of crap ensues, he finally does get to see his kids, but she's trying to set things up where she's the custodial parent....gotta be custodial to maximize public assistance.
well, recently, each one sent the other one their proposals. her proposal included my cousin paying her $7000 for the "appreciation value of the house and his business" (the house has actually probably gone down in value due to the housing market crash and her "improvements" around the house that need to be re-done correctly...and the judge hearing the case told her repeatedly that my cousin's business was well established before the marriage and she has NO claim on it), full child support, a visitation schedule where he sees them 4 days one week, and then 2 days the next week, he has to comply with her demands regarding the children, and so forth. she stated that she only took her personal belongings from the house (like the washer and dryer that came with the house?) and that her business degree (which she got while they were married, where he supported her as she went back to get her degree) was "nominal" because it was only an Associated degree (which is enough to get her store manager level....making $60,000+ a year). she also gets to claim at least 2 of the 3 children for tax purposes.
his proposal was pretty much this....
50/50 full-joint custody. one week with him, one week with her.
one year, he claims 2 children, she claims 1. following her, he claims 1 child, she claims 2.
child support where its at.
she can not leave Monroe County with the children (she took them to Syracuse this summer to see her girlfriend's family...without notifying my cousin)
child support at its current level (less than full, it pretty much evens out their incomes)
she returns 50% of the children's toys, clothes, and family photographs
the children are registered through his address (his house) for determing what school they attend
the girlfriend can not be left alone with the children.
so I called my cousin to see what happened...he's what he said was the pre-liminary agreement....
50/50 full-joint custody, she gets the kids one week, he gets them one week.
unless she makes $20,000 a year or more, he gets to claim 2 children for tax purposes. if she makes that much money in a year, then it flip flops (the 2 one year, 1 the following year)
she can not leave the Town of Greece with the children.
the children are registered through his address unless a situation arises where she is in the zone to send the children to Greece Athena (where the money is)
the girlfriend can not be left alone with the children
she is to return 50% of the toys and clothes of the children as well as all negatives of their pictures so my cousin can choose what he wants
she still wants the full chiild support. my cousin is planning on telling her "Look, leave it where its at and be done with it. it also means that if you end up making more money than me, I'll still be paying this amount."
if she does not agree, then its trial...where he goes after 1/2 of what she took, has her pay 1/2 the marital debt (he's willing to take on all the marital debt, no qualms about it...about a $20,000 personal loan to pay off credit card bills and such) and she could wind up having no custody of the children.
if they go to trial....his witnesses can include....
her father
her mother
her brother
the person that was "observing" him at one time (that has witnessed her smoking in front of the children and all sorts of other things...like saying that if my cousin only gave her X amount of money, certain accusations of child abuse would not have happened)
his family
her family
who would she have?
her girlfriend....that she has known for about 1 1/2 years now.
so me wonders where things go....they get this paper signed, they become legally seperated for about a year, and then divorced. and if she goes back to bitch about stuff....oh well, you signed.
so yeah, good news for my cousin, right?
and in other news, no word on my step-father's mother. she has (what he says) are 2 aneurysms in the brain (frontal lobe). she is also approaching 90 and not only has watched her grandchildren grow up, but seen her great-grandchildren (oldest is 14 or so, youngest is 2). she has traveled and done all she wants...now its a matter of passing on.
and in still other news....evidently one of the coordinators where I work (think semi-manager) is being stalked by her ex-boyfriend (that used to work at the same store...until he got caught smoking pot while on the clock). she broke up with him 3 months ago, and now he's calling her and her parents all the time, stuff like that. last night, she left around 12:15 AM or so....me being the overnight cashier walked her to her car and watched until she left. I asked her if she knows where the nearest police station is (she knew) and told her if she feels that she is being followed, drive to the nearest police station. I recommended talking to one of our security guards (retired Sheriff' Deputy and Probation Officer), she might talk to her mother's boyfriend (I think retired law enforcment). and today, my front-end manager asked about how she was doing....so its something big. she won't ask for help (she'll clear the lot of carts at night by herself...she carries mace and a box cutter). so for her to ask means a lot. and yes, she did thank me for making sure she got to her car safely.
so fun night...and the week has just started!
EDIT LATER TODAY...
and my 2nd cousin in North Carolina called. she had her third child. 6 lbs, 4 oz., 18 inches long (probably less than 3 kg and 45.72 cm long).
and a job interview Thursday....for a substitute teacher position in the school district I reside in...what questions could they ask me?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
aldremech:
Sounds like a sound theory to me. That sad thing is if she gets slapped with an actual disorder, the court could side with her if she seeks medical/ professional help
aldremech:
Hopefully it will work out the best for the kids, and we know what that is 