hellstorm

well, tomorrow (Monday) I find out if I got the job or not. some ways, I think I had a good interview. other ways, maybe not.

at times I think I got a little too comfortable...is that a good thing or a bad thing?

so what else? mood has been weird lately. guess its the season. yes, I hate December...here's a quick run down why:

Uncle's death due to suicide
Uncle's death due to alcoholism
Father left (when I was 9 1/2 months old).

so if I'm not a "jolly, happy soul" you know why.


so last night was kind of odd. talking about different things with a cashier. a former "regular" came in without his girlfriend. he had pictures why. she just had their first child, and was home asleep. so he was out shopping.

got me and the cashier talking. she asked me whether or not I want children (some of the managers are adamant about not having kids, while others like children). so I told her given a situation that happened 14 years ago, yes, I would like kids, but I don't see it happening. and actually opened up a little.

you see, 14 years ago, when I started college, it was when the girl I was dating at the time (call her Sam) told me, after we got into a fight, that she miscarried. it was a tough thing for me to deal with, in many ways, because, well, I really don't talk and I'm really good at internalizing everything. unfortunately, it means when something is really painful and I need to get it out, I can't. guess that's where my "addiction" comes in...its a way for me to let the pain out.

and then today is was talking with a different cashier about stuff. she was the one who dated a kid for 3 years, and earlier this year found out he cheated on her with someone else we work with. she dusted his ass. and has grown quite a bit. so that was odd.


yeah, these things are just kind of odd I guess. who knows what it means. it was tough telling the one cashier (Alissa) that, while I would like to have children, i don't see it happening. she's wondering why. how do you tell someome that you're not really sure if you'll be around past age 45? why do I feel that way? don't know. but I do,. am I psychic? who knows. but if I am, on this alone, oh how it could suck!

so, I guess some good news. as some of you might know, I collect the "Heroclix" toys. basically, they are little figurines of comic book characters that you can use to play a game. each pack has five random figures, and costs about $10 for me to buy. I bought a "brick", or 10 packs, from my cousin for $90. I opened up the one pack and got a chase variant Batman figure. that figure went up on eBay and sold for about $85. well, recently, I used this credit to buy another pack, where I got the same chase variant Batman figure. this one went for over $90. not bad, not bad at all! the others I sell, well, that's pretty much gravy as far as I'm concerned.

so how is that Batman figure being sent out? the entire box, with all 5 figures, will go out. there are some nice ones there. hell, the person paid $90 for the one. give him a bonus, right?

and I think that's about it...I'll post tomorrow when I know....wish me luck!