so the dream from the Fourth of July....
it was odd...I wasn't sleeping too well, not sure why. perhaps nervous about work, who knows. lots of extroverting that day (in fact, Thursday, I was drained by the end of the day, and there wasn't too much going on). some of my family came over (mom's cousin Debbie, her 2 daughters, 2 sons-in-law, and 3 of her grandchildren plus my sister and her boyfriend) for the fourth. not a lot, in part, because it was quiet. and also it rained.
so the dream....
I kind of did a life review....I wasn't too happy, either. came to the idea that, at age 31, well, things are pretty much crappy for me. no job yet, no career, not even sure what I want to do in life anymore. no family of my own and really no hope in sight. see, I went through and realized that I have dated someone no longer than 8 months. most of the time that I have been dating, it has been long-distance, too. I totaled up how much I have dated in my life...I am about 14 1/2 months total in my life. yeah, that sucks!
so I was also bummed out by this dream. kind of crappy to look back at your life and be unhappy about where things have gone and not sure about how to change where things are going.
so that was my dream. time for some sleep, I work in the morning. and hopefully I get a phone call soon (as in a few days) from ONE of the jobs I have applied to. that way, I can at least get some money in my pocket and perhaps move towards a career instead of simply working on jobs.
so that was it.
and how about you lately?
it was odd...I wasn't sleeping too well, not sure why. perhaps nervous about work, who knows. lots of extroverting that day (in fact, Thursday, I was drained by the end of the day, and there wasn't too much going on). some of my family came over (mom's cousin Debbie, her 2 daughters, 2 sons-in-law, and 3 of her grandchildren plus my sister and her boyfriend) for the fourth. not a lot, in part, because it was quiet. and also it rained.
so the dream....
I kind of did a life review....I wasn't too happy, either. came to the idea that, at age 31, well, things are pretty much crappy for me. no job yet, no career, not even sure what I want to do in life anymore. no family of my own and really no hope in sight. see, I went through and realized that I have dated someone no longer than 8 months. most of the time that I have been dating, it has been long-distance, too. I totaled up how much I have dated in my life...I am about 14 1/2 months total in my life. yeah, that sucks!
so I was also bummed out by this dream. kind of crappy to look back at your life and be unhappy about where things have gone and not sure about how to change where things are going.
so that was my dream. time for some sleep, I work in the morning. and hopefully I get a phone call soon (as in a few days) from ONE of the jobs I have applied to. that way, I can at least get some money in my pocket and perhaps move towards a career instead of simply working on jobs.
so that was it.
and how about you lately?
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I guess I am appreciating more, as I become more independant and able to lead my life the way I wish to. Thats not to say though that I dont feel upset or even depressed at some points, but I do try working towards a "happier" frame of mind, despite sometimes pressing times/ issues.
It seems to me that what you listed that makes you happy, is mostly from when you have positive results from your work (whatever that may be).... what about things just for you? There must be some things. Do you play any instuments? I thought I recalled you playing something, does that make you happy to an extent? Exercise (releases endorphins!!!).
Have you tried seeking out a life counselor/ careers counselor? Its something Im thinking of. To get some outside perspective. I feel like I need someone who has a larger understanding and knowledge base of other careers/ lifestyles.
You may be 31, but your still living your life. I understand it that were not automatically on a path, we have to make it. Figure out where you want and need to go. Whether thats in your own way or through the use of professionals/ non-professionals.