well, today, saw my dad for the first time since, well, um, October? talked a little about what was going on. giving him an edited version. here's why (long story short regarding my relationship with my father):
he left when I was 9 months 14 days old. given that I was born on March 11, doing the math, that means he left December 25. see, he was seeing someone else.
now, he's coming up on 25 years married to my step-mom. I'm 31. yup, I was 6 when they got married.
she mentions being at my great-grandfather's funeral....he died the summer before I was born!
nice, huh?
he came back into my life circa 3rd grade. he (well, she, since my step-mother is in charge) did not want me to be in the accelerated program. she went into the program and went from a "A" student to a "C" student. me, well, I stayed as an "A" student. probably would have done better if I actually cared about school.
when did things become positive between my father and I? hmm, when I was around 17. started working, stopped seeing him as often. then I went away to school. fight there.
then they finally accepted things.
fast forward, I decide to go back to Grad School (again). he talks with me. kind of the "Devil's Advocate" role.
now, I talk about not graduating until December. as my step-mother says, "We're afraid you have no real direction in life." well, I do, but I don't. you see, I like working with people, helping them transition from one stage in life to another. however, the idea of being in a field for more, then, well, five years is tough for me to think about. its the personality style I am. a "jack of all trades" who likes to bounce around.
see, the problem, though, is the fact that the world is not like that.
and he's, well, has a certain mindset. he never went much beyond High School, while I got a Masters degree. and we really don't talk about much. he more "lectures", less two-way conversation. so yeah, it would be tough to say "Yeah, I was treated for depression briefly, my supervisor was not going to pass me, they're not sure if this is the right field for me" and so on. so instead lots of listening....plus I worked overnight, so I was going on about 16 hours awake on 5 1/2 hours sleep. not fun! and about 8 hours of sleep in the past 36 to 48 hours.
so what to do? see, if I could go corporate and do transition stuff, that would be great. he works for Coca-Cola, so I hinted that I would be interested. he's also of the mindset "Kick down the doors." however, since he was never around while I was growing up, I'm not. lots and lots of differences there.
so yeah, that kind of bums me out. I'm still waiting to hear back regarding jobs. my only hope is the fact that a classmate of mine works with someone who is part of the department at a college that I applied for a job. so she's going to put in a good word for me. the tough part, though, is the fact that I'm going BACK into what I did. which I know now will not sit well with him.
oh well......and he doesn't know about my tattoos either!
so yeah, outside of that, I've been working. about 35 hours a week. which wouldn't be too bad, except its also work like this:
2:30 PM to 9 PM 2 days straight, followed by a day off, then 7:30 AM to 4:00 PM and then the overnight shifts (11:30 PM to 8:00 AM) for 2 days. so things are all screwy with me. it really bites!
so I've been reading things here as well. unfortunately, I have to use my laptop, which is slower (older) then my desktop. and the new website layout tends to slow down my laptop. not always happy with me.
but I've been reading, so a few words for the people out there on my friends' list that I have commented on yet:
albi: sorry the ex is being such a prick. hopefully you find the next person who will treat you like you should be soon! as for the job, yeah, they do suck sometimes! I always use them as good motivation to do better and get out of the job I'm in!
heavenandhell: Tis always a good week when some of your favorite SG's have sets that go up! I'm still waiting for a new one from Lennon myself!
Livid: there is a reason why my family does not allow me to play with matches...Pyro's of the world unite!
Erragal: Congrats on the new job....hope it provides some great times for you!
jermhawk: here's hoping for Karma to come back and bite those people in your area on the ass!
Fredricka: hang in there...hoping things start settling down soon for you and you can return to school!
cuntrebecca: boring lives are sometimes more fun than overactive ones, I do believe! and congrats on being a group owner now!
panini: yay, you survived your first year! hoping next year is better! and enjoy the summer...you will relish it! hoping that you get some more fun times as well!
whew, think that's about it in terms of those I have to comment on! not too much else here. just work. and waiting!
so that's all...until who knows when! I'm tired now....8 hours of sleep over 48+ hours sucks!
he left when I was 9 months 14 days old. given that I was born on March 11, doing the math, that means he left December 25. see, he was seeing someone else.
now, he's coming up on 25 years married to my step-mom. I'm 31. yup, I was 6 when they got married.
she mentions being at my great-grandfather's funeral....he died the summer before I was born!
nice, huh?
he came back into my life circa 3rd grade. he (well, she, since my step-mother is in charge) did not want me to be in the accelerated program. she went into the program and went from a "A" student to a "C" student. me, well, I stayed as an "A" student. probably would have done better if I actually cared about school.
when did things become positive between my father and I? hmm, when I was around 17. started working, stopped seeing him as often. then I went away to school. fight there.
then they finally accepted things.
fast forward, I decide to go back to Grad School (again). he talks with me. kind of the "Devil's Advocate" role.
now, I talk about not graduating until December. as my step-mother says, "We're afraid you have no real direction in life." well, I do, but I don't. you see, I like working with people, helping them transition from one stage in life to another. however, the idea of being in a field for more, then, well, five years is tough for me to think about. its the personality style I am. a "jack of all trades" who likes to bounce around.
see, the problem, though, is the fact that the world is not like that.
and he's, well, has a certain mindset. he never went much beyond High School, while I got a Masters degree. and we really don't talk about much. he more "lectures", less two-way conversation. so yeah, it would be tough to say "Yeah, I was treated for depression briefly, my supervisor was not going to pass me, they're not sure if this is the right field for me" and so on. so instead lots of listening....plus I worked overnight, so I was going on about 16 hours awake on 5 1/2 hours sleep. not fun! and about 8 hours of sleep in the past 36 to 48 hours.
so what to do? see, if I could go corporate and do transition stuff, that would be great. he works for Coca-Cola, so I hinted that I would be interested. he's also of the mindset "Kick down the doors." however, since he was never around while I was growing up, I'm not. lots and lots of differences there.
so yeah, that kind of bums me out. I'm still waiting to hear back regarding jobs. my only hope is the fact that a classmate of mine works with someone who is part of the department at a college that I applied for a job. so she's going to put in a good word for me. the tough part, though, is the fact that I'm going BACK into what I did. which I know now will not sit well with him.
oh well......and he doesn't know about my tattoos either!
so yeah, outside of that, I've been working. about 35 hours a week. which wouldn't be too bad, except its also work like this:
2:30 PM to 9 PM 2 days straight, followed by a day off, then 7:30 AM to 4:00 PM and then the overnight shifts (11:30 PM to 8:00 AM) for 2 days. so things are all screwy with me. it really bites!
so I've been reading things here as well. unfortunately, I have to use my laptop, which is slower (older) then my desktop. and the new website layout tends to slow down my laptop. not always happy with me.
but I've been reading, so a few words for the people out there on my friends' list that I have commented on yet:
albi: sorry the ex is being such a prick. hopefully you find the next person who will treat you like you should be soon! as for the job, yeah, they do suck sometimes! I always use them as good motivation to do better and get out of the job I'm in!
heavenandhell: Tis always a good week when some of your favorite SG's have sets that go up! I'm still waiting for a new one from Lennon myself!
Livid: there is a reason why my family does not allow me to play with matches...Pyro's of the world unite!
Erragal: Congrats on the new job....hope it provides some great times for you!
jermhawk: here's hoping for Karma to come back and bite those people in your area on the ass!
Fredricka: hang in there...hoping things start settling down soon for you and you can return to school!
cuntrebecca: boring lives are sometimes more fun than overactive ones, I do believe! and congrats on being a group owner now!
panini: yay, you survived your first year! hoping next year is better! and enjoy the summer...you will relish it! hoping that you get some more fun times as well!
whew, think that's about it in terms of those I have to comment on! not too much else here. just work. and waiting!
so that's all...until who knows when! I'm tired now....8 hours of sleep over 48+ hours sucks!
raleigh1:
Damn matches!