this just fucking sucks. today, my supervisor showed me an e-mail he received. he already had the conversation with the person. evidentially, last week, while he was meeting with someone, I was talking with her where I said that I'm afraid of Learning Disabled people and that I stay away from them. her quotes. I then went on to say how I was afraid of another student population that I stay away from.
seriously, I can not recall having this conversation, and this is so out of character for me. I face my fears whenever I can, as that is the way I know to overcome my fears. furthermore, there is no need for me to be afraid of students with a learning disability. I've worked with them in teh past. Hell, I did an internship unpaid in the Disability Support Services Office on the one campus I worked at. my aunt has CP, my second cousin has ADHD, I was freakin' diagnosed with a speech and language disorder and received speech therapy for 8 years of my life! and she says I said this! I have no idea where it is coming from!
so I'm not sure what to think anymore. my supervisor saw me upset. I can apologize and offer to talk to her. however, since she said we were talking about dopamine re uptake inhibitors as medication for students with ADHD, and the only medication I know of for these students is Ritalin, I have no idea where this came from. everything just doesn't seem to make sense! and she's out there, thinking I'm afraid of students with Learning Disabilities and I stay away from them! when I try to work with all students and try to work with them in what works best for them!
seriously, this just sucks! I broke down crying my supervisor's office....I was shaking. that bad. I missed part of class because I was more concerned with that. classmates noticed. I'm not eating until tomorrow, since I'm not hungry....let's see, 20+ hours with no food....yeah, that should be a problem for me!
seriously, what the hell is going on, and how to I apologize for something that I can't even remember doing?
ADDENDUM:
well, I talked things over with my supervisor. is it possible she heard a part of the conversation? yes. is it possible she misheard me? yes. is it possible I said this? highly unlikely.
however, by breaking down and everything, it brought what I'm dealing with to the forefront. the issues I have inside that I'm keeping inside, the emotional fight I have going on, its pretty intense. I compare it to a storm of sorts. big time turmoil. I might be looking at a medical leave. I might be looking at a week off. something to give me time to heal. thankfully I do heal fast.
does he think I'm a bad person? no. he said I am a very altruistic person. however, until I deal with everything, I'm not going to be that good of a counselor. and that's what I need to do right now.
seriously, I can not recall having this conversation, and this is so out of character for me. I face my fears whenever I can, as that is the way I know to overcome my fears. furthermore, there is no need for me to be afraid of students with a learning disability. I've worked with them in teh past. Hell, I did an internship unpaid in the Disability Support Services Office on the one campus I worked at. my aunt has CP, my second cousin has ADHD, I was freakin' diagnosed with a speech and language disorder and received speech therapy for 8 years of my life! and she says I said this! I have no idea where it is coming from!
so I'm not sure what to think anymore. my supervisor saw me upset. I can apologize and offer to talk to her. however, since she said we were talking about dopamine re uptake inhibitors as medication for students with ADHD, and the only medication I know of for these students is Ritalin, I have no idea where this came from. everything just doesn't seem to make sense! and she's out there, thinking I'm afraid of students with Learning Disabilities and I stay away from them! when I try to work with all students and try to work with them in what works best for them!
seriously, this just sucks! I broke down crying my supervisor's office....I was shaking. that bad. I missed part of class because I was more concerned with that. classmates noticed. I'm not eating until tomorrow, since I'm not hungry....let's see, 20+ hours with no food....yeah, that should be a problem for me!
seriously, what the hell is going on, and how to I apologize for something that I can't even remember doing?
ADDENDUM:
well, I talked things over with my supervisor. is it possible she heard a part of the conversation? yes. is it possible she misheard me? yes. is it possible I said this? highly unlikely.
however, by breaking down and everything, it brought what I'm dealing with to the forefront. the issues I have inside that I'm keeping inside, the emotional fight I have going on, its pretty intense. I compare it to a storm of sorts. big time turmoil. I might be looking at a medical leave. I might be looking at a week off. something to give me time to heal. thankfully I do heal fast.
does he think I'm a bad person? no. he said I am a very altruistic person. however, until I deal with everything, I'm not going to be that good of a counselor. and that's what I need to do right now.
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I find it frustrating that self harmers have to get tats or whatever just becuse they are more accepted than cutting or whatever.
The bf gave me a 300Gig HD to back up with. Iv gotta pay him back when I have monies.