so, part of the problem with getting a tattoo is the healing process. while in itself its not too bad, when you are standing there and someone walks up and pats you on the back, or even worse, pokes you in the back about, oh 3 to 4 hours after getting the tattoo done, well, let's just say I was almost on the ceiling!
and thinking of starting up counseling again. stuff just doesn't seem right with me. kind of in an odd way. mood swings every so often. more importantly, I kind of figured out over this summer that I really lack the ability to relax and not do anything. I always seem to have to stay busy. I almost feel guilty if I'm not working or doing something! and its annoying! really annoying.
however, the thing I'm really scared of is changing. I've spent 30 years or so getting used to me, and accepting who I am. its odd, some of my professors talked about how, as counselors, you need to accept your "dark side" as well. I figure that I have lunch with my dark side daily. its part of who I am, and I accept it. my mood swings, the probable mild depression I always suffer, everything, its part of who I am. and I'm scared that changing who I am might make me less effective in what I'm good at. and I don't want that.
yet there is so much I need to let go of. one thing I'm scared of right now is having to deal with a suicide....there's too much going on in my head, I'm scared I won't be effective in doing this.
>sigh<
when did life ever get so complicated, anyone?
and thinking of starting up counseling again. stuff just doesn't seem right with me. kind of in an odd way. mood swings every so often. more importantly, I kind of figured out over this summer that I really lack the ability to relax and not do anything. I always seem to have to stay busy. I almost feel guilty if I'm not working or doing something! and its annoying! really annoying.
however, the thing I'm really scared of is changing. I've spent 30 years or so getting used to me, and accepting who I am. its odd, some of my professors talked about how, as counselors, you need to accept your "dark side" as well. I figure that I have lunch with my dark side daily. its part of who I am, and I accept it. my mood swings, the probable mild depression I always suffer, everything, its part of who I am. and I'm scared that changing who I am might make me less effective in what I'm good at. and I don't want that.
yet there is so much I need to let go of. one thing I'm scared of right now is having to deal with a suicide....there's too much going on in my head, I'm scared I won't be effective in doing this.
>sigh<
when did life ever get so complicated, anyone?
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for me, at least, thats the WORST part of the process, by far !
the important thing for me about examining my "dark side" is in the simple fact that I am bringing it out into the open, and making an effort to start to process it. I have discovered that I just don't WANT to let go of a lot of things yet.
yep.
scarey.
hope all is well in your world lately !