heinleindourden

Happy New years, today I worked a hall party deep in the westend.

And I can't get over the friendship that was there. People calling and wishing each others happy new years.
There was this one raven haired beauty who called to say "I love you" to a friend of hers. It was really touching. I pretended to be all since I was working security. But inside I was all

That was a goodness.

A sadness was when I saw a good who had come in earlier, no friends at midnight. And he left at midnight, no kisses, no hugs nothing just left. I felt for him.

Who did I call? nobody. But I got hugs and kisses from random strange girls there Now, here's one thing. I really felt I connected with this one girl. She even had a tattoo with my nick name 'two stars' on her back. Fate had intervened though, I had to break up a fight right when I was about to take her out to my place.

She wound up leaving with her female friends, yet. I have to wonder. Was it again fate stepping in? I vowed celibacy for at least a while longer. She knows where I work during the day.

I'm rambling....the entire wonderfulnes of it was that it was so abstract. So illusion filled, yet stilll all joyful and friendly.

Did I have a good new years? Yeah. I wish I could have fallen in love, but don't we all....

....one girle said to her friend "I was talking to my boyfriend Dave" and that was what made her night. This guy she had been spending time with, made her an Official Girlfriend. And maybe that's what I'm looking for again. Its been since May that I've had a girlfriend (ok there was a fling in between) but my soul sometimes aches for a touch of feminity. A ying to my yang as silly as that sounds.

....and the rambling continues. I continue to resolve to stay celibate till I REALLY know the person. I don't think my poor heart could stand another trip down wrecked emotional girl lane. Not anytime soon.

On that note a poem

Goth goth goth
Sad sad sad
I am both
dark
and
!