heatherisaboynow

I’ve spent the last twenty minutes of my existence saying “what’s going on over here?” Then when the lack of anything going on becomes apparent going to the other room and trying. Is this a good hobby? Or am I going slowly mad?

Rules diminish creativity, they suppress the minds capabilities. I know this to be true. Rules are only a form of distrust, of suspicion, of insecurity, a tool of control. They are designed to filter the bad from us, to tame us, but I want to be what I am: an animal. When I am free of rules, that’s when I can be a successful artist....
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Does the wind travel between the lines

Of what once was and what now is?

Carrying nothing but moved air

There must be some reason

Why I feel the way I feel,

However obscure, however absurd

I must reconcile the unknown.

I am lost for words; though patient

Evermore. Clowns remain clownin’

Clouds remain clouding,

The judgement of my soul.

Merry Christmas lovelies! I’m on my own this xmas because the train company doesn’t treat their workers well and the unions called a strike. Thus I couldn’t travel to the north east to be with family. Anyway, here’s a pic of me being a twat. Hope you’re all having a wonderful Christmas with people you love <3

There’s a little bit of sweetness in everything. More or less I find myself fall in love from time to time, it’s just one of life’s great accidents I guess.

“My words speak of the soul in its intricacies, weathered fragility and contradictions. If my soul’s very existence is now in question, let it be this matter at hand that quells the inquiry.”

Beware of what you wish for
Ugliness is in something beautiful
You close your eyes to see the pain
The pain you bring and the pain you’re in

You should know that pain is a drug
But being uncomfortable is not the same
I’ll reach out when they’ve turned their back
But never can I go back

Waltz for me, Prince of Pain
‘Cause they’re...
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I set upon this beach

On the morning of my youth

And now—the moon rises

I could count every shell

That has landed in the night

And now—I turn for home

Like the sand, slipping through my hand

On this graveyard afternoon

I am forever changed.

Not for the wearied or the weak

Do I live nor die.

Like these grains falling down like rain...
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Had a bad day today.

Days when I’ve got nothing to do are hard because I’ve got a lot of time to think and reflect. I’ve been through so much stress this past decade with my illness, when I think negative thoughts the world seems to react in kind. I get anxious because I can’t safely express myself, even though all of this is happening...
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There is a man I know who is an outsider. There is a man I know who has the patience of a spider. He left me behind, said words unkind, then saved my life by dying.

I believe I’m lucky to have known him. He saw through my disguise of words imbued with spirit, he grasped my deepest wounds, I could never get near it....
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