Our egos aren’t fair, they’re biased. We are so familiar to ourselves that we can’t find true north. Instead of balanced and rational assessment, we’re prone to self judgement which may not be evident to others. Since our empathy doesn’t extend to ourselves, we feel more empathy toward others which can lead to passive traits—we imagine ourselves in their role, it would hurt to cause grievance and so we want to alleviate any harm caused. This can sometimes lead to being taken advantage of. But this is sometimes the way we love ourselves, to disassociate with our actual selves in order to play a role.
Change occurs over time. To successfully force immediate change on someone is to corrupt them, to impose your will on someone is to take advantage of their lack of boundaries. If you seek to dilute unpopular traits from somebody, this is your intolerance and not their weakness. Am I being understood?