NOTES 1 (from various sources)
"Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.
When a man seeks solace or withdraws, it probably has nothing to do with you. It has more to dNOTES 1 (from various sources)
"Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.
When a man seeks solace or withdraws, it probably has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the emotional intensity and confusion around emotions than with a particular person.
We need space and time to figure out what is happening.
When a man doesn’t respond as she needs, the feelings of being hurt or misunderstood arise.
For most men, mastery over emotions means suppressing them, hiding feelings behind a mask of stoicism, or just turning off the emotions entirely.
When she demands him to be sensitive, a man feels not good enough.
A man’s natural response when hurt or confused is to withdraw. Almost everybody knows about the masculine need to retreat to the cave. And whether this is physical space, or mental space, or even silence, the cave is an essential healing tool for the manly mind.
The cave allows integration of the experience, introspection to see what is happening within.
Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.
When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship.
The woman who is insecure with her own emotions will see a man who withdraws as a threat and get angry and go on the attack. This is the antithesis of supportive behavior.
When a man doesn’t respond as she needs and demands at the emotional level, lashing out will only cause harm. Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship. One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture.
Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or RUN.
Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve.
Be patient.
He will go through an intimacy cycle before he can go deeper and each time he needs to get away he reassess his feelings --- he will be back. In the meantime, nurture yourself and create beautiful things in your life.
When you stop “moving” in the relationship and just stay grounded, you will make a man feel that you are confident and stable. This is attractive and will offer him the emotional room he needs to realize why he loves you. Don’t call him or invite him places or give him gifts or cute “friendly” text messages. Just live your life, breathe, feel your feelings and when he contacts you, be welcoming and inviting. Listen to him, laugh with him and let him set the pace of the conversation. Treat him like a casual friend who always brings a smile to your face.
Men fall in love with women who fall in love with themselves. BE HIGH VALUE ... a sought after woman with lots of options. BE AUTHENTIC! He knows when you are changing to please him and its a turnoff. He wants to please you and EARN you, he IS keeping score and knows what he deserves. RECEIVE FROM HIM. LET HIM GIVE.
RECEIVE!!
BE CONFIDENT. BE FULFILLED.
Men are happiest and most relaxed in a romantic relationship when…They feel a strong sense of personal freedom. He’s not going to be your “project,” where you’re going to come in and take over his life and tell him what to do. They enjoy relationships when they’re with a woman who gives them plenty of space and who appreciates them just as they are. When you let men know that you have a life, that you have good boundaries, you’re occupied with other interests, and that you’re not looking to him for constant reassurance, he can really start to relax. You’re like a breath of fresh air, compared with 99% of the other women. And when a man starts to relax and let down his guard, he can truly connect with you in an emotional way. He says, "Life with this woman gives me a sense of freedom," and he wants to be with you.
Men feel and acknowledge their love for you more deeply when you allow them space to reflect. For most men, love happens in the spaces in-between being together. This is hard for women to understand, because love begins for us during periods of togetherness.
Being nice to a man is leaving him ALONE. Not calling him, not smothering him, not being in his face texting, getting him little gifts. Men have things to do and cannot deal with you and what they need to do at the same time. If they try they get anxious and annoyed. Being nice to a man is letting HIM determine when he has time to call and talk or make a date, or see you. Or think about you. Being nice to a man is allowing him to miss you so he is ABLE to fall in love with you. Doing anything more than making him miss you will NOT seem nice to him. It will make him annoyed especially if he wants to fall for you but can't because you are a sure thing and in his way. Making him wait to hear from you will make him think more of you, not less. Keep it reciprocal. He'll think about you more when he doesn't hear from you. A man will NEVER let a woman with serious potential walk away. Fear paralyzes you from being relaxed and authentic. Don't be afraid to lose him, because he's not going anywhere.
He'll be back. You just have to be happy within so you require less of him and allow him to slack every now and then. If you're not happy with a man, what you need to do is make him earn you instead of pushing him or telling him what to do. Work on you, work on taming your expectations. Don't be anxious, stay out of your head, don't put unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. Fill your own life up and let him enjoy the overflow rather than demand he fill you up. He was attracted to you at first because you exhibited overflow qualities: happy, carefree, caring, confident. You had your own life. Focus on that and slowly add him back when he returns. Make him respect you, not rescue you.
Every time you reach out, you hit the “reset” button. He is still attracted to you.
***change his mood, not his mind***
Shift from STRATEGY to engage & EXPRESS: stop reacting to what you think he wants, stop being careful and concealing and strategic and calculating, BECOME THE PERSON who IS BEING REACTED TO. BE YOURSELF, say what you want and represent yourself, its all in tone and delivery.
Every man secretly wants to be with a woman who puts herself first. But he WILL take whatever he can get if you give it away freely. Once he sees that you're honoring your heart, it will compel him to honor you. He'll stop blowing hot or cold and give you the attention you deserve.
BE A SAFE PLACE. Don't take distance personal. Don't push him to commit. Learn to be his friend; practice being safe to talk to to bond you which allows you to be feminine... and let him take the lead.
Every man in the world is looking for a woman who needs him but isn't dependent on him; who is sexual but is more than just a seductress; who is kind and generous but not validation seeking; who is loyal and supports his growth but doesn't tell him how to live; who fights for her man but is not jealous; who is independent but makes him feel like the most important person in her life; who kicks ass out there in the world but lets herself be vulnerable and gentle with him. This may seem like asking for a lot, but it all circles back to you as the woman of high value you already are. Only now you are creating a lasting bond by digging deeper to connect the male psyche with the very qualities you embody.
Play it cool. Men are turned off by women they perceive as needy. He will become obsessed, dreaming and planning for the future he wants with you—once you learn to slow yourself down. The idea is for you to become his only logical conclusion. Make a future with you seem like his idea, and eventually it will be.
Do not be afraid of losing him because he's not going anywhere.
A man will NEVER let a woman with serious potential walk away. STAY BEHIND HIM; let him be more sure about you than you are about him.
He'll think more about you when he doesn't hear from you.
He just wants to be with someone who is HAPPY. Happy with him and happy without him. It's that simple."o with the emotional intensity and confusion around emotions than with a particular person.
We need space and time to figure out what is happening.
When a man doesn’t respond as she needs, the feelings of being hurt or misunderstood arise.
For most men, mastery over emotions means suppressing them, hiding feelings behind a mask of stoicism, or just turning off the emotions entirely.
When she demands him to be sensitive, a man feels not good enough.
A man’s natural response when hurt or confused is to withdraw. Almost everybody knows about the masculine need to retreat to the cave. And whether this is physical space, or mental space, or even silence, the cave is an essential healing tool for the manly mind.
The cave allows integration of the experience, introspection to see what is happening within.
Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.
When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship.
The woman who is insecure with her own emotions will see a man who withdraws as a threat and get angry and go on the attack. This is the antithesis of supportive behavior.
When a man doesn’t respond as she needs and demands at the emotional level, lashing out will only cause harm. Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship. One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture.
Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or RUN.
Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve.
Be patient.
He will go through an intimacy cycle before he can go deeper and each time he needs to get away he reassess his feelings --- he will be back. In the meantime, nurture yourself and create beautiful things in your life.
When you stop “moving” in the relationship and just stay grounded, you will make a man feel that you are confident and stable. This is attractive and will offer him the emotional room he needs to realize why he loves you. Don’t call him or invite him places or give him gifts or cute “friendly” text messages. Just live your life, breathe, feel your feelings and when he contacts you, be welcoming and inviting. Listen to him, laugh with him and let him set the pace of the conversation. Treat him like a casual friend who always brings a smile to your face.
Men fall in love with women who fall in love with themselves. BE HIGH VALUE ... a sought after woman with lots of options. BE AUTHENTIC! He knows when you are changing to please him and its a turnoff. He wants to please you and EARN you, he IS keeping score and knows what he deserves. RECEIVE FROM HIM. LET HIM GIVE.
RECEIVE!!
BE CONFIDENT. BE FULFILLED.
Men are happiest and most relaxed in a romantic relationship when…They feel a strong sense of personal freedom. He’s not going to be your “project,” where you’re going to come in and take over his life and tell him what to do. They enjoy relationships when they’re with a woman who gives them plenty of space and who appreciates them just as they are. When you let men know that you have a life, that you have good boundaries, you’re occupied with other interests, and that you’re not looking to him for constant reassurance, he can really start to relax. You’re like a breath of fresh air, compared with 99% of the other women. And when a man starts to relax and let down his guard, he can truly connect with you in an emotional way. He says, "Life with this woman gives me a sense of freedom," and he wants to be with you.
Men feel and acknowledge their love for you more deeply when you allow them space to reflect. For most men, love happens in the spaces in-between being together. This is hard for women to understand, because love begins for us during periods of togetherness.
Being nice to a man is leaving him ALONE. Not calling him, not smothering him, not being in his face texting, getting him little gifts. Men have things to do and cannot deal with you and what they need to do at the same time. If they try they get anxious and annoyed. Being nice to a man is letting HIM determine when he has time to call and talk or make a date, or see you. Or think about you. Being nice to a man is allowing him to miss you so he is ABLE to fall in love with you. Doing anything more than making him miss you will NOT seem nice to him. It will make him annoyed especially if he wants to fall for you but can't because you are a sure thing and in his way. Making him wait to hear from you will make him think more of you, not less. Keep it reciprocal. He'll think about you more when he doesn't hear from you. A man will NEVER let a woman with serious potential walk away. Fear paralyzes you from being relaxed and authentic. Don't be afraid to lose him, because he's not going anywhere.
He'll be back. You just have to be happy within so you require less of him and allow him to slack every now and then. If you're not happy with a man, what you need to do is make him earn you instead of pushing him or telling him what to do. Work on you, work on taming your expectations. Don't be anxious, stay out of your head, don't put unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. Fill your own life up and let him enjoy the overflow rather than demand he fill you up. He was attracted to you at first because you exhibited overflow qualities: happy, carefree, caring, confident. You had your own life. Focus on that and slowly add him back when he returns. Make him respect you, not rescue you.
Every time you reach out, you hit the “reset” button. He is still attracted to you.
***change his mood, not his mind***
Shift from STRATEGY to engage & EXPRESS: stop reacting to what you think he wants, stop being careful and concealing and strategic and calculating, BECOME THE PERSON who IS BEING REACTED TO. BE YOURSELF, say what you want and represent yourself, its all in tone and delivery.
Every man secretly wants to be with a woman who puts herself first. But he WILL take whatever he can get if you give it away freely. Once he sees that you're honoring your heart, it will compel him to honor you. He'll stop blowing hot or cold and give you the attention you deserve.
BE A SAFE PLACE. Don't take distance personal. Don't push him to commit. Learn to be his friend; practice being safe to talk to to bond you which allows you to be feminine... and let him take the lead.
Every man in the world is looking for a woman who needs him but isn't dependent on him; who is sexual but is more than just a seductress; who is kind and generous but not validation seeking; who is loyal and supports his growth but doesn't tell him how to live; who fights for her man but is not jealous; who is independent but makes him feel like the most important person in her life; who kicks ass out there in the world but lets herself be vulnerable and gentle with him. This may seem like asking for a lot, but it all circles back to you as the woman of high value you already are. Only now you are creating a lasting bond by digging deeper to connect the male psyche with the very qualities you embody.
Play it cool. Men are turned off by women they perceive as needy. He will become obsessed, dreaming and planning for the future he wants with you—once you learn to slow yourself down. The idea is for you to become his only logical conclusion. Make a future with you seem like his idea, and eventually it will be.
Do not be afraid of losing him because he's not going anywhere.
A man will NEVER let a woman with serious potential walk away. STAY BEHIND HIM; let him be more sure about you than you are about him.
He'll think more about you when he doesn't hear from you.
He just wants to be with someone who is HAPPY. Happy with him and happy without him. It's that simple."