The past few weeks have been really tough for me. My father switches between a state of complete joy and then within a few hours everything is shattered. He's losing more of his memory every day. It's gotten to the point where he can barely remember either of my sisters' names. The thing that hurt the most is a little bit ago, because I have power of attorney with his medical state, he made me sign a do not resuscitate form. He looked me in the eyes and begged me to sign it because he didn't want to live if his condition got any worse.
Over the past year he has gone into kidney failure over 5 times and barely recovered each time. 4 out of the 5 times he has actually died and they brought him back and that scares me. Now with the D.N.R I am worried it will happen again, but this time won't be allowed to bring him back. I don't sleep most nights now because I lay awake in the living room listening to him sleep. I always get scared when he goes to sleep because I fear he won't wake up.