gayballs

me: you should check the milk, it's been there forever.
she takes out the milk, opens it, sniffs it, and shakes her head.
me: it's bad?
her: yeah, plus, it's got a film on the top.
me: is it an independent film? HAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
me: how does it feel to live with a comedy GENIUS?
her: I have no idea. I'd sure like to know.


me: I finished watching the movie
her, from the kitchen: are you talking to me?
me: no, I was talking to the cats. "Hey cats, I finished watching the movie" (Mickey Mouse voice) "wreary? wreow wras it?"
her: i hate you.

i kill me