Went to Vegas with the girl. You never know how a trip is going to go with someone you’ve never traveled with. But with her, the world melted away. There’s not a day that goes by that she doesn’t some how make me love her more than the day before.
She pulls me along with her, as if we are actually partners. She makes me...
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She bought us tickets to go to Vegas to see a band I’ve seen while living in Phoenix because I missed seeing them here in Detroit. She also got us tickets to Tied Down here in Detroit. She’s such a rad human. I don’t want to take advantage of her, nor her generosity. But there’s no way I could afford these things in my own....
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I met someone. And there’s this immediate and intense connection. It’s perfect right now. If I leave, it stays perfect in my head. No drama. No arguments. No fights. Just this perfect moment that will forever be etched into my mind and memories. I know I will long for it and pine over it, in the end. But I don’t want to get hurt again....
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Life is lifeing again. I have my own home now but with the Dictator in charge, I’m scared about what may happen. I try to just live life though.
I took 13.5 months off drinking. Most of the time now, when I do drink I don’t get drunk. Responsibly drinking and socializing unlike all those years I drank and partied hard.
I spend most of...
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How much of our problems are caused by ideas formed from the experiences and traumas we have had? Probably most. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to let go. But sometimes I just want to be the same old asshole I’ve always been. I want to self destruct. I want to burn bridges. I want lay waste to everything around me.
The problem is
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I’m alive still. 42 now. Sober 10 weeks.
My birthday was September 15th. I decided to head back to Arizona for a week to visit friends and get out of the headspace I’ve been in since my grandma died. It’s weird not having parents, let alone not having the person who raised you around. So I bounced from Detroit to Phoenix.
fuck I don’t miss that heat.
I did miss my friends though....
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Gonna take some time and figure out my life. I feel lost again.
My grandma was my world. My rock. The toughest old bird anyone every knew. Im doing my best to honor that by being the strongest person I can be but it’s tough to keep it together and not think the absolute worst.
