fivept_bottle

Ive inadvertently come upon a resolution a little late in the first month. I plan to be less idealistic over the next year. Not so fascinated by the general idea of situations. More aware of the aftertaste. Sensitive to all of its angular open doors. I dont want to accessorize my life with pre-conceived notions. I have no need to visit their tourist traps. I dont want to destroy myself, but HEYlets be realistic here. I cant turn it ALL off. Everything thats bad for me but tastes alright. So, the key is not to be blinded by its idealism. Something I read. Something that felt like it was captured inside the frame of a lens. I wont be a victim to its mention of an accelerated life. Ill indulge if I want to. Because I really want to fit inside of its curves and face the after effects as well. To understand it and accept it. Not to fucking run.

I thought it was all about being less self-absorbed. And then I thought about it a little more. This isnt a good year for that. I mean, Im going to Europe to play music for over a month. Ive never been to Europe before. Im not giving my time to some corporation. Ill be in a different city everyday. This is incredible. Its all hitting me now so much harder in the last five days. Ive been so consumed with the money and the stress. Its not going to matter when I board the plane. And so, this is a time that I should really enjoy being myself. And without living up to anyone elses ideals.

But that doesnt mean I cant do a little more for the people around me that matter. Thats all Im sayin.