they're dying left and right...
three friends have died this year...
this is one of my friends... i shared a locker with him and we hung out ALL the time..
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/pittsburgh/s_155538.html
I have seen him once since highschool... in Oakland by Laga.. we didnt say much.. but it was nice to see him.
Then i think i talked to him once online because he knew on of my friends from 7 Springs.. and he found out she knew me so he was going to come to my going away party to meet her. I got pretty excited because he was awesome and i hadnt seen him in a while... but he never showed up.
this hasnt been a good year for living.
looks like i cant work at crystal this winter.. mainly because they dont allow animal friends in the employee housing (which is a hotel room) and because of the time off predicament. i mean... im sure he would work around the days off.. but i cant have the cats with me...
hopefully i can make it up there as often as possible.. if i get a second job (i applied at calendula last week) i'll try to get thurs and fris off so i can go up there two days at a time.
im bummed... but at least i can use the time to make some money for a down payment on a house/get out of debt... and it works for hil and i because we wont have to put our stuff in storage while she's gone.
oh well... what can i do? besides just being super super bummed. at least i have an opportunity to apply to a good vegan restaurant in the meantime.. and hone my vegan cooking skills.
i have some good ideas too....
in other news:
Do I enjoy life?
No... I don't.
Right now there is nothing for me to enjoy (hilary excluded). No good friends that feel like family to hang out with.
No driving to Century III/pleasant hills in search of members of the shady crew.
No shows 2-3 times a week (that i would go to to hang out with my good friends even if i didnt like the bands... hell.. the show only cost 4 bucks anyways.)
No lurking outside of Laga... trying to sneak in or otherwise piss of Joker Productions in one way or another.
No snowboarding 5 times a week.
No going to Charleroi to skate that curb by myself... knowing that Frank, Potato, Fister, or the Bartellozzis would show up at some time.
No sitting in the mall.. thinking of what to do.
No driving to Oakland just for the hell of it. There's always something to do either there or in South Side.
No long ways home.
No favorite roads to drive on.
No plans.
No future.
No motivation.
No josh, andrews, steve, vince, mike, derek, joe.
No PJ.
No kelly.
No alison.
No niki.
No family.
No anyone.
There is no one i could confide in here... No on that i would want to hug if i were leaving.. with no intentions of coming back.
No one to invite to a going away party.
Just me.
Hilary.
And the cats.
Do i miss pburgh? Yes.
Could i ever live there again? No.
What do i miss most about pburgh? Friends.. a life.. an unhappy life but a life nontheless.
The world is my classroom and life is my professor.
I'm flunking.
Man courts happiness in a thousand shapes; and the faster he follows it the swifter it flies from him. Almost everything promiseth happiness to us at a distance, but when we come nearer, either we fall short of it or it falls short of our expectation; and it is hard to say which of these is the greatest disappointment. Our hopes are usually bigger than the enjoymant can satisfy.
three friends have died this year...
this is one of my friends... i shared a locker with him and we hung out ALL the time..
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/pittsburgh/s_155538.html
I have seen him once since highschool... in Oakland by Laga.. we didnt say much.. but it was nice to see him.
Then i think i talked to him once online because he knew on of my friends from 7 Springs.. and he found out she knew me so he was going to come to my going away party to meet her. I got pretty excited because he was awesome and i hadnt seen him in a while... but he never showed up.
this hasnt been a good year for living.
looks like i cant work at crystal this winter.. mainly because they dont allow animal friends in the employee housing (which is a hotel room) and because of the time off predicament. i mean... im sure he would work around the days off.. but i cant have the cats with me...
hopefully i can make it up there as often as possible.. if i get a second job (i applied at calendula last week) i'll try to get thurs and fris off so i can go up there two days at a time.
im bummed... but at least i can use the time to make some money for a down payment on a house/get out of debt... and it works for hil and i because we wont have to put our stuff in storage while she's gone.
oh well... what can i do? besides just being super super bummed. at least i have an opportunity to apply to a good vegan restaurant in the meantime.. and hone my vegan cooking skills.
i have some good ideas too....
in other news:
Do I enjoy life?
No... I don't.
Right now there is nothing for me to enjoy (hilary excluded). No good friends that feel like family to hang out with.
No driving to Century III/pleasant hills in search of members of the shady crew.
No shows 2-3 times a week (that i would go to to hang out with my good friends even if i didnt like the bands... hell.. the show only cost 4 bucks anyways.)
No lurking outside of Laga... trying to sneak in or otherwise piss of Joker Productions in one way or another.
No snowboarding 5 times a week.
No going to Charleroi to skate that curb by myself... knowing that Frank, Potato, Fister, or the Bartellozzis would show up at some time.
No sitting in the mall.. thinking of what to do.
No driving to Oakland just for the hell of it. There's always something to do either there or in South Side.
No long ways home.
No favorite roads to drive on.
No plans.
No future.
No motivation.
No josh, andrews, steve, vince, mike, derek, joe.
No PJ.
No kelly.
No alison.
No niki.
No family.
No anyone.
There is no one i could confide in here... No on that i would want to hug if i were leaving.. with no intentions of coming back.
No one to invite to a going away party.
Just me.
Hilary.
And the cats.
Do i miss pburgh? Yes.
Could i ever live there again? No.
What do i miss most about pburgh? Friends.. a life.. an unhappy life but a life nontheless.
The world is my classroom and life is my professor.
I'm flunking.
Man courts happiness in a thousand shapes; and the faster he follows it the swifter it flies from him. Almost everything promiseth happiness to us at a distance, but when we come nearer, either we fall short of it or it falls short of our expectation; and it is hard to say which of these is the greatest disappointment. Our hopes are usually bigger than the enjoymant can satisfy.