I wish I knew how to better include myself in conversations like I used to. I have no idea what happened to me. I used to be so social.
Sooo...I am gonna try and quit smoking because of my boyfriend. He was being such a jerk last night. He used to smoke...even before I started. But then he suddenly decided to quit (which isn't bad) but I guess he decided that it was time for me to quit as well even though I wanna do it when I feel it is right. He told me he didn't care anymore about my smoking and cutting. But when I smoked last night, and I tried to hold his hand afterward, he said no because I smell. That pissed me off so much! So I walked in front of him until we got inside the movie theatre. When we got to our seats, he sat next to me and I said "Are you sure you wanna sit next to me? I smell". I was just sooo pissed off and worked up that I moved over a seat. But then I wanted him near me and he apologized for going about it the wrong way, then I started to cry.
I fucking hate my life. I wish that I could hide all of my scars better. To have a future doesn't seem like it is worth all of this pain. I am never good enough for him or my parents.
Wow...that sounded all too whiney. Sorry...
Sooo...I am gonna try and quit smoking because of my boyfriend. He was being such a jerk last night. He used to smoke...even before I started. But then he suddenly decided to quit (which isn't bad) but I guess he decided that it was time for me to quit as well even though I wanna do it when I feel it is right. He told me he didn't care anymore about my smoking and cutting. But when I smoked last night, and I tried to hold his hand afterward, he said no because I smell. That pissed me off so much! So I walked in front of him until we got inside the movie theatre. When we got to our seats, he sat next to me and I said "Are you sure you wanna sit next to me? I smell". I was just sooo pissed off and worked up that I moved over a seat. But then I wanted him near me and he apologized for going about it the wrong way, then I started to cry.
I fucking hate my life. I wish that I could hide all of my scars better. To have a future doesn't seem like it is worth all of this pain. I am never good enough for him or my parents.
Wow...that sounded all too whiney. Sorry...
Why are you with him if you feel like he doesn't think you're good enough?
He probably doesn't want to smell the cigarettes cuz of his own cravings for them, and probably wishes you would quit, which is understandable.
He probably also doesn't know how to deal with your emotions. I'm not saying that your emotions are wrong, just that he probably has trouble with them.