It's funny how through the worst situations life is somehow made clear and things are put into perspective. Sometimes recently I have even questioned my own sanity. For now I am crystal clear on what the next year will hold for me, clear on my faith- clear on what happiness means to me. AND I am as always Thankful for the blessings that God grants...
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I would like to go to the top of a mountain and just shout at the top of my lungs.....I AM FUCKING OVER MY LIFE. I would almost think I was a bad person and Karma is just kicking my ass or someone plays with witchie pooh toys and really really REALLY doesn't like me. Mostly - i just continue to try and get through...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
macq:
All you can do is smile sometimes...Things will get better...karma moves in a cycle...get ready for the good times..
P.S. I don't know where Dot went..sorry..".people come and go so strangely around here"
P.S. I don't know where Dot went..sorry..".people come and go so strangely around here"
phb:
*hugs*
Ahhhh....I look forward to the New Year. I say that every year-this one is going to be great and then find at the end of the year I am just thankful to have survived it......
I have to take a detour and head back to Jersey for a bit til May or June before I head back to California. I've made peace with it and...
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I have to take a detour and head back to Jersey for a bit til May or June before I head back to California. I've made peace with it and...
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phb:
Boo on the Cowboys (I'm a Redskins fan, hence some of my misery each year from September until January)... 
Anyhow, my family is coming out for Xmas. They arrive Thursday - if the weather cooperates - and we're probably taking my mom to midnight mass (she's Catholic, but the rest of us... not so much), then chilling out around town until Monday.
My dad went through a job change this year (I think I discussed this with you many months ago... he was laid off from his employer of 34 years in late-January, handled it far better than I feared he might, and ended up getting a decent position by August).
My sister (roughly two years older than me, only sibling) is also visiting and staying for a full week... she's separated as of this year and is just beginning to date again, but I think she didn't really want to be spending the holidays with anyone else quite yet. Her ex went to high school with us in the small town my parents still live in, so that's a big reason everyone was cool with coming to Chicago this year.
So it'll be nice to have them around, as long as they don't get to be too high-maintenance. My parents are getting a hotel and my sister might crash with them until they leave town, then she's taking my spare bedroom, so it shouldn't be too bad.
How are you spending the next couple weeks?
Anyhow, my family is coming out for Xmas. They arrive Thursday - if the weather cooperates - and we're probably taking my mom to midnight mass (she's Catholic, but the rest of us... not so much), then chilling out around town until Monday.
My dad went through a job change this year (I think I discussed this with you many months ago... he was laid off from his employer of 34 years in late-January, handled it far better than I feared he might, and ended up getting a decent position by August).
My sister (roughly two years older than me, only sibling) is also visiting and staying for a full week... she's separated as of this year and is just beginning to date again, but I think she didn't really want to be spending the holidays with anyone else quite yet. Her ex went to high school with us in the small town my parents still live in, so that's a big reason everyone was cool with coming to Chicago this year.
So it'll be nice to have them around, as long as they don't get to be too high-maintenance. My parents are getting a hotel and my sister might crash with them until they leave town, then she's taking my spare bedroom, so it shouldn't be too bad.
How are you spending the next couple weeks?
macq:
Oh my...I just noticed you re back...Welcome Back...Another side trip back east...oh well..California will keep the light on for you......I'll respond more tommorow..I'm cleaning and shopping today..
...I'll respond more tommorow..I'm cleaning and shopping today..
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jericho:
Good fucking God you are as hot as ever, if not more so
oxy:
you always look lovely in your pics.
Back from Vegas...I could not have anticipated how fruitful that trip was going to be. All that despite having my luggage lost and damaged. Which reminds me i have some demands to make on that. I made amazing contacts. Got info on some things I was considering. Spent quality time with some people I adore, one being the boy and I love falling asleep and...
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I would bitch slap DEATH-if I could. I've become rather numb to it though and don't particularly have the energy at the moment. I need to be on a flight to Jersey this weekend. I can't seem to get my mind or body right...it's been a struggle since leaving LA. Fuck I can't wait to jut be there...
Picsies from Cancun and Santa Monica. i...
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Picsies from Cancun and Santa Monica. i...
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mydogfarted:
Awww. If you were going to be further north, I'd suggest getting together for a drink. AC is ~2.5 hours for us.
mydogfarted:
Fairly simple answer to that one... men's brain function must be split between their intelligence and their dick. 
I can still smell the boy on me from last night......
I love Santa Monica-it feels like home. I am beyond excited to make the move in a few weeks.. I extended an extra night at the Huntley and Cancun was an amazing time.
Of course the best time was spent with Case, all of our drama and fears aside and just enjoying each moment...
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I love Santa Monica-it feels like home. I am beyond excited to make the move in a few weeks.. I extended an extra night at the Huntley and Cancun was an amazing time.
Of course the best time was spent with Case, all of our drama and fears aside and just enjoying each moment...
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voiddragon:
OOOOHHH-LALA 
I have officially flipped and lost my fucking mind!!!!! I haven't heard from Case since Mid February and for anyone not familiar with this drama, you;ll have to go back and read about it-I have no desire to rehash it. A few weeks ago i came to a very clear and peaceful state of knowing I not only loved him, but was in love with...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
ronintally:
Thanks so much for posting a link to the Dan Rafael interview about Arturo Gatti. It was well worth the time to listen to.
Arturo may not have been the best of boxers, but he was certainly one of the most exciting. It's sad to see him go.
Arturo may not have been the best of boxers, but he was certainly one of the most exciting. It's sad to see him go.
atraxion:
Hi!!thank you how are you?
Edit-My grandmother passed suddenly the other night and an aunt as well. My emotions are hellish right now. calm today, fetal yesterday-thankful My dearest friend will be with me. House full of relatives I haven't seen since I was a kid. First Fathers day EVER with my father. Apparently there is a cousin with a penchant for bartending. her skills will be tested and there...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
lizaeth:
So sorry to hear you had so many losses at once. I am sending you some love and strength to get through this and to a place where you can exist peacefully.
phb:
*hugs* I'm going to a funeral tomorrow - younger brother of a girl I used to be close with, but haven't seen in years.
My heart just shattered...it's been breaking all day. One thing after another......
I hope you knew i wanted the best for you freudianslip, I hope you found peace and your family takes comfort in that.
I hope you knew i wanted the best for you freudianslip, I hope you found peace and your family takes comfort in that.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
bitten:
still shattered. it'll be ok. hugs
bitten:
thanks. really there was no reason for you all to be but I appreciate it I really do!!
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the_libertine:
that was so delicious to read. I love that you open yourself and let your words be fragile and frank and intimate. it's beautiful.
suibill:
I, too, am easily drained of energy, especially by certain people.
P.S. Thanks for the new pics, you know the ones I love the best-the ones with you in them!
Good luck with stuff.
P.S. Thanks for the new pics, you know the ones I love the best-the ones with you in them!
Good luck with stuff.
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el_bandito:
Agreed.. Thank you for your insight
freudianslip:
I'm still skeptical. 
I am trying to be open minded and let all of this "happen". I'm not terribly good at it though. There are a lot of things I don't want to cover in therapy... knowing full well that with holding all of the facts will have some impact on the success or failure of this endeavor.
I suppose the genius of this place is that they go a little deeper. There is NO mention of the whole fucking twelve step process. It's not merely a support and detox facility but they get to the root of things and also realize that i am indeed a real prince(ss). I have a water view and 900 thread count sheets. Most therapy is done in my suite.Maybe they can keep me fooled into believing i'm on a vacation. I do get the masseuse for an hour every morning. so it'll help. I just can't seem to dislike a massage.
I know it's going to suck. But I am hoping the end result will be with it. You'd be laughing your arse off, dear, they completely dismiss my prima donna behavior. No one here is afraid of me. They've seen disease and mental illness and addicts .... and they just tune it all out. My tantrums are completely wasted. I have an aid for physical things..... so I pretty much have run of the grounds, and someone there if I have a seizure or fall.
We will see what happens. I don't feel like they're waiting for my demise at this point, but perhaps there is something. (what though?)
how's the spelling today ?
I am trying to be open minded and let all of this "happen". I'm not terribly good at it though. There are a lot of things I don't want to cover in therapy... knowing full well that with holding all of the facts will have some impact on the success or failure of this endeavor.
I suppose the genius of this place is that they go a little deeper. There is NO mention of the whole fucking twelve step process. It's not merely a support and detox facility but they get to the root of things and also realize that i am indeed a real prince(ss). I have a water view and 900 thread count sheets
. Most therapy is done in my suite.Maybe they can keep me fooled into believing i'm on a vacation. I do get the masseuse for an hour every morning. so it'll help. I just can't seem to dislike a massage.
I know it's going to suck. But I am hoping the end result will be with it. You'd be laughing your arse off, dear, they completely dismiss my prima donna behavior. No one here is afraid of me. They've seen disease and mental illness and addicts .... and they just tune it all out. My tantrums are completely wasted. I have an aid for physical things..... so I pretty much have run of the grounds, and someone there if I have a seizure or fall.
We will see what happens. I don't feel like they're waiting for my demise at this point, but perhaps there is something. (what though?)
how's the spelling today ?
Much love and joy to you.
*hugs*