35

Well I haven't written my thoughts down in awhile, so I thought maybe I would. A positive update is fuckface has been leaving me alone so I am happy about that. Things are going pretty well. Still working away like normal. The holidays were really nice and I hope they were for all of you too. I will be ringing in the New Year
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
slim80:
Never too old to party πŸ˜„. Jks, glad that you're happy and things have taken a positive turn! Great news about the new guy. Just make sure he's not just putting on a front. You're an attractive woman you deserve to be happy. Good luck
ellemarie:
Lol yea true I guess. Yea no worries :) and thank u i agree!! 😘
43


I had such a nice holiday type weekend with my kids and family. I wasnt ready for it to end. But it had to, back to the grind tonight. I just love being a mom. I have such a special bond with my boys. Raising them on my own is challenging but they are beyond worth it. They are my reason to get up every
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
marcus707755:
You are a dream, you looks so perfect. Yeah this is awesome, meine Traumfrau spricht Deutsch.
ellemarie:
Aww well thank you!!! Hahaha ja ja ;) vielen dank!! @marcus707755
8

Trapped... Trapped in my head. Trapped in my thoughts. Paralyzed by anxiety and fear. Sometimes out of nowhere I feel like this. I have no idea why. All the demons from my past. All the shitty words I used to hear.. All the pain I used to feel... All the anger and hate towards me..all the sick feelings in my gut. All the ugliness...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
slim80:
Same to you� 😊
ellemarie:
Thx so much πŸ˜€ @slim80
37

This is the last time that I am going to post about a certain sociopathic, psychopathic guy that I dated. I no longer give him that power or satisfaction. He thinks he knows me. He thought he owned me and to think we only saw each other 3 times, once in public. I have known him less than a year and have only sorta talked
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tommygun0:
You Β sexy lady love your picturesΒ 
ellemarie:
Thank u ;) @tommygun0
2

Psychotic men that you used to date suck. I do not really consider him an ex because we were not a couple. I have known him since January and met him on fet life. He has been causing drama in my life ever since. I wish i knew who he was on here so i could block and delete him etc. i blocked his phone...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
littlejohn22:
this is good to hear... shine on you crazy diamond
ellemarie:
Yes indeed @del i have not seen him since april and he kept trying to creep back in my life. I only ever physically saw him a total of 3 or 4 times!!! Crazy!! Thank you as always @littlejohn22
4

Dating... Sigh... So life as a single girl is kinda tough sometimes. It has its perks at times but can also be a boring, cold, lonely world at times too. I just do not know how to take it or where I fit in. All of a sudden I have met a man who has sort of caught me off guard and has sort of...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
matoushka:
@ellemarie great! Good luck ❀️And stay positive about your relationship 
ellemarie:
Aww thx so much!! I will have to keep you guys posted πŸ˜πŸ˜€ Β @matoushka
21

I worked this halloween weekend but stillmanaged to have some fun be ause I love my coworkers. They are great friends and make it feel less like work and more like fun. They are very helpful and very funny, they constantly make me laugh and we have so much fun!!


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littlejohn22:
looking beautiful, I worked also but start a new gig today
ellemarie:
Aww well thank you!! Good luck!! A new job?! Yayy!!@littlejohn22
23

Sometimes you read a news story and it has gruesome details of domestic violence. It triggers something deep inside you. It triggers sickness and pain that you wish you could leave buried. More than once you have wished you could obtain the device in Men in Black that permanently erases your memory of something. You wish those memories did not exist. You wonder if you
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
littlejohn22:
I wish that MIB device was realΒ 
ellemarie:
I do too @littlejohn22
25

I do not consider myself to be a slut. Do I enjoy sex? Yes. Do I have a strong, high libido? Yes, I always have. I find it to be so silly and rude that someone would call you a slut for the color of lipstick you like to wear.

In recent months I had a sort of controlling ex boyfriend who called it my
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
rockgodphotog:
But then again I am a pin up photographer so.. That bright red drives me crazy lol
ellemarie:
Lol i love it πŸ’‹ @rockgodphotog
7

Shades of grey. Tonight I was staring at my newly hung dark grey curtains against my lighter grey bedroom wall and pondering about why I love this color so much. To some it is so dreary, to me it is peaceful. It is neutral. It is not boring, it leaves a lot of room to add in bright fun colors with it, sunshine yellow, bright
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
robertbluesman:
Hmm... 48 shades to go
ellemarie:
Hahaha true true @robertbluesman
4

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up where I did. I wonder if I am really living and doing certain things. I met a gorgeous muscular man online. He is 18 years older than me but by looks , you would think only 7 or 8. He is sweet, fun, interesting and complimentary. Here are the catches... He lives 9 hours away by car and he...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
robertbluesman:
queue Everett in O Brother: "We in a tight spot"... my Dad's old adage has worked for me on such things in the past "never let out more than you can reel in in a big damn hurry when the game warden shows up"
ellemarie:
Lol this is true. My heart is torn but we remain friends. I have seen him once more since writing this but it is difficult. My emotions are all over the place with it :/ i am trying to remain more as just a friend right now and i already trued to break it off once @robertbluesman
5

Mortality is one of those things young people do not typically think about. Sometimes you are forced to when your pet goldfish Wilbur dies, or the kitten you begged your mom to allow you to rescue gets hit by a car. Your high school friend may die in a car accident and mortality smacks you hard in the face while you are sleepily eating a...
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robertbluesman:
Your blogs are awesome! Signed: new fan. Last week a surgeon had to tell me "nothing we can do" after a 2nd vein mapping of my battle weary legs to find ways of reversing pools of leaked plasma fluid settling in my ankles and feet by days end for the past 5 years or so. When I first walked in to his operating room after the mapping, there was the usual clatter of instruments being autoclaved, phones incessantly ringing, copy machines rattling on and on, and the staff trying to raise their voices above it all and each other discussing my chart. Then... it all suddenly stopped, pin-drop quiet, he came out of the windowed anti room, wringing his hands looking down as he approached, his staff suddenly mute, hands drawn to their mouth or across their forehead, looking straight at me... a quick sum up of these observations told me this is for really real. I got my final countdown clock flicked on. It's not a dire timeframe, and I'm grateful to have survived all the slings and arrows of my prior lifestyle choices, but it's the first time someone actually told me, assuming no acute incident prevails, that I'm going to die from this. Funny, at 66 it was a bit of a relief actually. But I could see he was genuinely distraught, his staff in solemn observation, and so... I ended up comforting him! I felt his release of angst as a slight smile passed across his face, erasing his furrowed brow, when I told him how much I respected his opinion, and wanted him to know I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, and that he was just the messenger of what is. He told me he was humbled by my words, we shook hands, and I had an amazing day from then on! It has to be brutal when your in that mixing bowl and the bad news keeps piling in! I respect the work you do too my dear 😎
ellemarie:
Well thank you so much... And I am so sorry to hear that. You have an amazing attitude about it... Many ppl dont it is one of the biggest human fears. Some handle it with anger, sadness, blame, denial, some with humor but we see it all. I am actually a nurse on a vascular thoracic surgical floor. It is interesting and humbling work. Best wishes to you.. :)) @robertbluesman