Dear America: Your beer is weak-assed sadness and tastes like water yes, even Icehouse). That said, I guess if I took that to mean I can drink fifty favillion of them and not go cuckoo-bananas and barf and wish I was dead the next day (til I started drinking again), you win, I lose. +1 America. Also, that shit sure is cheap.
Dear Las Vegas specifically: Slot machines in bathrooms? Smoking and booze eeeeeeverywhere? $4.99 steak and eggs? Air so dry my lips cracked and bled? YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME
Dear SG: I'm eeeeeasin' back on in. Sorta. Maybe. I kinda feel like I'm trying to ease back in to huffing wite-out or something, though. Like 'hey, this is a great idea!'
Dear Alaska Airlines: That shit was weak. Worst flight ever!
Dear commercials that say things about "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!": I suuuuuurely hope so.
I feel like I can't sleep enough.
Dear Las Vegas specifically: Slot machines in bathrooms? Smoking and booze eeeeeeverywhere? $4.99 steak and eggs? Air so dry my lips cracked and bled? YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME
Dear SG: I'm eeeeeasin' back on in. Sorta. Maybe. I kinda feel like I'm trying to ease back in to huffing wite-out or something, though. Like 'hey, this is a great idea!'
Dear Alaska Airlines: That shit was weak. Worst flight ever!
Dear commercials that say things about "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!": I suuuuuurely hope so.
I feel like I can't sleep enough.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
gayballs:
your stepfather is a genius
gayballs:
no, not at all. he's a gentleman and a scholar.