Thursday Sep 09, 2004

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Underrated

Overrated

If you're inclined to using either of these marks of non-thought, please don't use them around me lest ye incur a tongue-lashing.

PS. I give up.
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kikka:
ehm i saw your comment about polish words aka dog mothers. IT'S A SWEARWORD! don't use it on GInny. Try that with a polish trucker, you'll see what i mean.
superflea:
Email me and tell me where Daddy's workin'.

There's a chance that my search for the power supply might take me through Mississauga. I won't lie - it's an insignificant chance. Given the fact that you're probably no more than a 20 minute walk anywhere in the GTA from a place that will serve stir-fried baby at any time of the day or night if you're so inclined, if I can't find one downtown I probably can't find one anywhere.

But just in case, it's not as though I couldn't spin by and say hello if the scheduling worked out just right...

...and if I could hold myself off from running home to set up my new computer. smile

Tuesday Sep 07, 2004

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This is why you review the materials before going in, kids.

I scheduled myself to run two 4-hour training sessions tomorrow for scant other reason than that's when I could get two fistfuls of new hires together while I was available to be in the building. Well, it's not actually 8 hours after all, not for me, at least. Turns out that instead of stretching...
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lizfitts:
Thanks Nathan & thanks to Ginny. All Dogs go to Heaven, right? Right.
obd:
hmmm. twix, not reese's. noted.

Friday Sep 03, 2004

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Talk about being in the zone. I ran a training session for new hires today that lasted 4 hours and not only did I finish it on time, but I also had their attention the whole way through. After years of sputtering practice in school giving seminars and mini-lectures that said more about my comedic timing under duress than the topic at hand I may...
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mk700c:
Big city down town... beep beep.. beep beeig city!

yeah, not Chichago, but Tranna. Dammit I wanted to stay and party all night long.

I will say that after 9 hours on the highway in Canadia both hither and tither; Tim Hortons can suck it. I'm done with you TIM!
figmentation:
Cheers to "The Zone" ::lifts glass for a salute::

Saturday Aug 28, 2004

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NOTES FOR DRAFT 2

-introduce Dave character to bring chairs out of the backroom while Bins being interrogated; in act 2 hell bring news from the salesfloor to Jeremiah as they close up shop
-force Jeremiah to leave the backroom to make closing announcements in act 2; have announcements regarding the buddhism seminar in act 1
-stretch out questioning over precisely what he was doing...
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mk700c:
a girl named Dave!?

I'm titilated.
siv:
did you? maybe i'm a fuckwad. i don't remember you ever puttin' in the exact order, just saying a general interest...here's my plan: just tell me how many you want, punch any random photo that many times on the paypal button, and then write me a sassy and provocative mash note detailing which ones you want me to fill that quantity with. (DANGLING PREP)

Friday Aug 27, 2004

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Right now my girlfriend is in the bathroom working on popping the zit that's formed on the inside of her left nostril, and though I've offered to help locate the head she won't let me in.

We have "trust" issues to work on.
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_sarah_:
I cannot believe you just posted that... I'd have killed you.
maike:
I just had some Ralph Cramden flashbacks. And a good laugh.

Thursday Aug 26, 2004

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Ha. Looks like I was duped. The Republican convention doesn't even begin until today. Some intrepid writer ass-fucked their own sense of style and syntax to produce this speech satirizing W's rhetorical skills.

Therefore everything's fine. Carry on, America.

* * * * *

"Then John Kerry gets himself another record by serving admirably in the Senate and there you go again. If you got...
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mk700c:
Honestly, until I read "my first term as President," I thought that was a quote from Boss Hog. "Folks is naturally gonna...YEEEEEHAW."

Seriously doggy, if I've never asked you for anything before... get your couch ready for November; just. in. case.
ginny:
Looks like you're the one who's drunk.

Tuesday Aug 24, 2004

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To our cherished customers:

"Hardback", "Hardcover", it makes no difference, but please attend carefully when I tell you that any book, be it bound with glue, stitching, staples or spit, whether rigid as a 16 year-old's cock or floppier than grandma's teats, is, according to the proper sense of the term, a hard copy.

Always.

A soft copy is something else.

You fucking morons....
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archernu:
I agree with mk700c: watch Garden State. It's tasty.
velocity:
Shit man, I thought if anyone could do it, it would be you. My expectations of your manhood have suddenly drastically lowered.

Sunday Aug 22, 2004

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scopitone6248:
Thank you, FAM, for ending my living hell. wink
scopitone6248:
At first I was deeply offended that you thought you had to link Seppuku for me. Then I realized it was an attempt to get me to cry in the privates.

A successful attempt.

Thursday Aug 19, 2004

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Duration of a wash cycle on industrial use Maytag washer: 43 minutes.

Approximate time of two-way elevator trip between 17th and 2nd floor (incl. wait time): 3 min.

Running time of Neil Young's "Comes a Time": 38 minutes.

Therefore, approximate time before hateful little shrew began piling my wet laundry on top of the machines that had just stopped their spin cycles: <2 minutes

Where...
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scopitone6248:
Ah, Friend For Life, I adore your new occupation. May it last for as long as it drives a certain someone nuts.
flux:
Are you prepared to take the hallowed position of Official Second in Command For Life?

Wednesday Aug 18, 2004

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I just had an idea for a small online business.

How do you go about buying a domain name that's not owned by anyone?

* * * * *

Anyone else saddened by the ham-fisted humour evident in the trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie?

Bill Murray is funny. He doesn't need a schticky screenplay to be funny, in fact, his capacity for comic...
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beaky:
Love your new gizmo propic....
mk700c:
slap a second on what scop said; there was much discussion about N-dawg and the Hedgy being there.

Now that you're taking the bull by the jangles and starting your own online cult, I'm assuming we'll be seeing you on the jet-set very soon. You and your wheelbarrows full fo money.

As for said cult, should you need the help of a living, breathing capitalist pig-dog, you know where to come. All consulting at SOLM prices of course (read: free, like duh).

Saturday Aug 14, 2004

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My dinner break was interrupted tonight by a call to the salesfloor to deal with a customer who was running through the store naked muttering curses to himself.

How was your day?

* * * * *

Anybody else amused by my referring to the naked guy as a "customer"?
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kestrel:
Aww, thankya. He's my sweetheart. And, you're right, I don't trust the other two, either... and I live with them. frown
mk700c:
and breathe.

I'm back! The good news is that you don't have to go to L.A. to rock the good times. Ann Arbor is like way more close type.

Also, I'm jonsin' for the Tranna already.

Friday Aug 13, 2004

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Dear guy with the freshly-coiffed short hair and cute little nose who didn't hold the door open even though you heard that I was just a pace behind you and didn't ask me which floor though you were blocking the panel,

I just thought you should know that your girlfriend was checking me out on the elevator ride up.

Hugs and kisses,
The guy you...
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mk700c:
I make him cry in the privates.

LOS ANGELES!
obd:
inconsiderate bastard.

no wonder she was checking you out.
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