demon_within

Well there are plenty of mornings where I am priviledged enough to get to see the sunrise as most times, because of work, I am out in the field working before the sun and don't quit til after it sets. Anyways none have been as beautiful as this one. Even though I can't wait to move out of Kansas the fact that you can be out in the country 30+ miles from anywhere allows for some of the most beautiful sunrises. As I was sitting in my truck waiting to be loaded, and watching the sun rise, I realized how truly depressing I have made my life. Believe it or not, though my rough exterior portrays me differently, I am a romantic. I beleive that women should be treated with the upmost respect and honor. THey should receive flowers for no reason, your open the door for them, pull out their chair, and many other things irregardless if you know them or not. Well about three years ago I got out of a bad relationship and was pissed of with women in general, because it felt as though my heart had been ripped from my chest, and I decided I would bury myself in work and not deal with the burdens of relationship. Three years later it appears to have backfired because now those who were interested moved, which is fine, but now it seems I can't even find one the is remotely interested in me. Tje last one that even gae me a second look scared off unintentionally. I was at a club with some friends and she and her boyfriend got into an argument on the dance floor abd he rared back and hit her. THe force behind his punch spun her around on the way to the floor. This just wasn't going to fly or be left alone. Under no circumstance is it ok to hit a woman. I have stood there and let one of my exes split my lip open and black my eyes because I couldn't bring myself to strike her and restraining her just pissed her off even more. Anyways seeing him hit her just absolutely made my blood boil and i calmly walked out onto the dance floor and gave him two options. 1)He could leave now and leave still able to walk on his own power. or 2) He could see what happens when he hits someone who could hit back. I told him I'd give him a second to think it over and turned around and helped his girlfriend up off the ground. As I did he came up to take a swing and as I turned around he hit square on the chin. THis dislocated my jaw. I took a moment to readjust and snap my jaw back into place. THen I proceeded to kick his ass. HE ended up spending a week in the hospital. She had talked to me numerous times before that incident but since then acts like she doesn't know me. Well back to the sunrise, sorry I tend to lose focus at times, I started thinking about how much I longed for that someone to share a sunrise with. The one who loves for me to wrap her up in my arms under a blanket and just watch the sunrise or perhaps just lie out at night and look at the stars. I had that once and now I long to have it again, so much so that it hurts. Well talk to you all later, Preston