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deebee

Member Since 2002

Followers 4 Following 4

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Monday Dec 30, 2002

Dec 30, 2002
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There is a shade over me. A wispy spiders web, a cocoon, evening.

A cloud, poor vision

In the dark I am safe, no one can see me if I cant see them through my fog/lamp shade.

It was so gradual I barely recognized it was happening. As I see it more, as I recognize Im seeing less, the restlessness of my dammed up energy pushes harder against the night. Somehow I will break the dambut not yet.

The dam is my job, among other things, and I am at work right now. Too sick to go in till late. I built the dam (its a metafore, I know dams are usually bad news) for a really good reason. And its working so I cant abandon it yet even though Im ready to move on.

If it wasnt for the responsibility I feel now I wouldnt have felt the drive it took to build the damn thing in the first place. It really is a marvel.

I have no toothache, all my extremities, and two cats who love me as well as some great friends. And all I have been doing is moaning about what I dont have. Of course, its a big one but I really should be happy, really, really happy because Ive got so much.

I joined this website on impulse of course, driven by the obvious attraction of beautiful women. The idea was that small ruptures of the dam would make the waiting more bearable. The images, words and my imagination have just got the whole thing more stirred up.

But in the stirring and seeking of immediate relief there has already been some long term good. How about that shit? Really though, the little glimpses this site provides, even over the internet, make it all more human. And with my shade on (that is, lampshade that blocks out and also keeps in) I was forgetting the humanness of my own feelings and the feelings of everyone else as well.

And at the same time I still want to find someone with the same feeling of HORNINESS that I feel so we can make it go away together.

talaitha:
The morning breeze tended to the rose,
A maid-in-waiting, as the flower grows.
If in the sun you have a shady refuge,
Seek the shade of a rose, and one who glows.
-Hafiz, rubaiyat 27
Dec 30, 2002
elisabeth:
Metaphors are funky things, and the horniness...it will pass.
Dec 30, 2002

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