so... cute girl with dreads and i are calling every now and then, rate-limited by how often i step into yet another honeypot, but she still seems to like. one of the decadence staff is sending me very explicit pics and I am ...
at a loss.
my charm levels appear to be through the roof, but the one I love, i'll not hear from even once a week.
I am fed up with reality.
I know just humping some girl will make me chill and somehow move on, but if i i were ever to reflect?
Fed up. Let me be with the love of my life, instead of..
yeah, that one's cute
That one too!
charming. Wonderful. I love you all.
but per my innerself...
That one. Dear luv. I got no idea why you're so wonderful, why you're the best dancer in a whole country, why, or how you turned out such a wonderful person, but I am beyond looking elsewhere. I'm _seriously_ glad the girl with the cute dreads got my attention hooked, so at times, for a few days, I don't wake dreaming of marrying you. But all in all, my life is fucking futile.
You're so stubborn, and I even love how stubborn you are. I guess there's not even the slightest chance left for me.
I'm not someone to give up, a bavarian thick skull, but you are tougher. Yet. you're the love of my life.
maybe I'll go run off for a year or two, turning the heads of wonderful women, and - hopefully - to please, not sadden them. And maybe some day, I forget how much I love you, and we can go back to being friends, a more simple life.
But it will always be the wrong choice, courtesy of respect for the most wonderful person I ever met.
Yet, nonetheless, a mistake. A mistake I'll carry with me to my grave.
