Grad school is all about time management. I'm glad you're liking things so far.

I know you will be fine!

I had never given much thought to having a family, I just kinda figured that it was something that was not in the cards for me, and I eventually talked myself out of the idea of ever having kids...my ex never wanted any more, and quite frankly, he really wasnt father material...he just wasnt into bieng a dad...I guess bieng around my new guy has changed that biew for me, because I see a man who is just a loving amazing dad, and between that and my age (i think my biological clock suddelny turned o...) I know really want to have a baby with him, granted I still dont want that anytime soon...I want to build our relationship, and get married and do a few things before that happens, but I do know it's something I want...and I personally hope to have a girl, btu as long as we have a healthy baby, thats all that matters...I guess you must have a big family too, so do I , and seeing them all getting on with thier family's now at this time in my life has had a huge impact on me, I guess it's just that time......but I know what you mean about wanting a life, and someone to share that with...I thought I had that with my ex, but I guess I was just kidding myself...its really sad how things worked out in that aspect, but better because I am so much happier...now granted I have never actually been single, but I wouldnt change how my life has gone for anything...it has all made me who I am.....dont worry so much how your life is traversing, it is going the way it was meant to, and if bieng a husband and a father is something you want, it will happen when the time is right...and you will be ready for it!!

Dude you think to much. The whole thing about getting out and enjoying life is not to think so much. Enjoy your life and be happy in it and people will flock to you. You are a great guy and just need to allow yourself to think less and enjoy more.

The school stuff isn't as tough as it seems. I write 20 page papers in 3 days and I am not the writer that you are.

No having multiple interests is a wonderful thing. You get to explore them even further in gradschool. Don't be affraid to jump in with both feet. If you attack this beast with the same furvor (not sure of the spelling, sorry Dan.) that you write then you will have not problems. If you are going to gradschool for furhter training in Literature or anything close to it, then it will be a great fit for you. I have told you before and I still mean it, you write with a fluidness that makes even your most soppy rants wonderful to read. You are smart and intelligent and will find gradschool as tough as you want it to be. If anything take the leap with your eyes wide open and enjoy all that it has for you to learn.

I never really wanted the whole family thing, but now that I am with my boyfreind, now I do...I guess my biological clock suddenly turned on me!!

Great blog. I too, know the feeling of being in two places/times at once. Damn our Piscean burden!
I've been wanting to go to Ireland for quite some time now. I feel there's just something drawing me there, quite strongly recently. How was it that you ended up there?
....If you don't mind me asking.

new looks are always good. change is fun.

My biggest problem with Campbell is his tendency to write things in the most complicated possible way just to make his work sound more complicated and himself sound smarter. I mean, he is a smart guy, he's got some ideas, but come on. . .

I'v been doing alright sweetcheeks. How have you been?

I've never seen that. I was going to ask if you've seen Koyaanisqatsi? It's a Hopi term meaning "Life Out Of Balance" and is a series of images set to a soundtrack by Phillip Glass that would bring yet another tear to the late Iron Eyes Cody's eye. But it's somehow moving in a not entirely ominous way - it's sort of inducive of Peace, like a merging of Native merican ideology with the philosophies of Shinto and Tao.

And it's after 3 AM and I've been listening to a very weird (even by my standards) 22 1/2 minute piece I recorded circa 1987 on guitars and synthesizers and other keyboards with some weird effects (including some 'laughter' of loons at sunrise played backwards with varying echo effects) entitled "Nighttime Excursion Through The Synthetic Jungle" under the pseudonym 'Genji Muffenflower & His Eggplant Titmouse Orchestra.'

My brain is squirming like a toad.

Okay, now to address your JE (journal entry). I read it last night, but knew it would take a bit to get around to responding.

First, Joseph Campbell rules. He's had not only a profound influence on me throughout my Life, but has been vastly quoted and influential in music. Jimmy Page and The Grateful Dead come to mind first - the latter actually worked with him on occasion, providing music for some of his shows. With a name culled from an American Heritage Dictionary entry referring to old Folk tales as well as being a term in The Egyptian Book O f Th Dead, this shouldn't be too much of a surprise, though. But I read Campell's stuff before I got too heavily into music (I was 'into' music in 1973 but other than Hank Sr and Roy Acuff I wasn't obsessed with so many avenues of music until 1977-78). Mythology I began reading about in 1970 (Kindergarten - also when cellular biology entered my young mind, courtesy of mitochondrial and protochondrial references in The Wind In The Door and A Wrinkle In Time - these also discussed seraphim and cherubim, which also affected me in my theological mysiticistic interests).

Enough on Campbell and such. On to the passing out kid.

I was reading within the last year about kids VERY commonly suffocating themselves and each other intentially for the "high" (actually apoxia and its resultant neurolysis secondary - in other words, getting not high, but stupid -like inhalant-huffing). There was a sort of local kid found dead in her room having strangled herself for the rush.

Now, as to the "seeing things," I used to like spinning until dizzy, partly becasue of the stroboid effects on my vision as I whirled, and partly because of the ensuing dizziness. But, what first came to mind as I read this was something Neil Young once said about his epilepsy. Backstory- although he was in Buffalo Springfield and always around tons of psychedelics, he never took LSD because he was afraid, and it was a warranted fear, that in might exacerbate his condition. He had seizures on stage from time to time, to the extent that some bandmatesuspected him of faking it to get the attention of women (Neil was notoriously shy and insecure around the hipppie chicks at the time). Anyway, he said the experiences his friends described were just like his post-seizure mindstates. He said sometimes there would be a whole world with an entirely different cast of characters - my ex was not epileptic but during her alcohol psychosis states she would suddenly thing everyone was someone else - and people that never ACTUALLY existed - and would treat people according to the fictional persons she thought they were - then she'd have no memory of the entire chapter in her Life.

Back to Neil, in his post-seizure world, the people were childlike and lies were nonexistent. You know, like how a child is appalled the first tiem s/he hears his/her parents be dishonest in the least? He came out of one of these excursions into his alternate reality (often makes me wonder about the possibilty that these psychotic states might not be delusions at all, but may indeed be doors into truly existant areas in the Multiverse) and his personal physician, who lived on his Broken Arrow Ranch, suggested they don't tell pepole about the seizure to avoid unnecessary publicity or concern and to protect his privacy. Neil was mortified, still in the childlike semi-dream state and said something like "You mean . . .lie???"

Oh, and I think History was likely a good choice for you. That said, psychology doesn't necessarily mean having to overtly treat patients. There are areas of research that could be explored. Of course, those usually necessitate interaction with patients for the purposes of Observation, Interpretaton, and Speculation, which is, I suppose, not TOO far removed to treating them.

Well, I read your entire JE.

Will you make it through this entire comment?

Carl Perkins was great - The studio sessions Dylan and Johnny Cash did together with Carl on lead on February 18, 1969, are some of my favourite work my any of the trio. They did multiple takes on most songs, and did some other recordings other days, but this is the commonly circulating recording list:

Now, as to your band-starting idea, it may sound lame, but hang out at local bands' gigs, talk to them AND the people around them. Musicians often know other musicians and go to support local bands and see them play, so it's a great place to meet musicians, some of whom may want to start a band.

Give it a shot. Worst case scenario: You see live music and meet new people.

AAWWWWWWWWWW He's a cutie. I love kitten mischief

Hooray for kitties!

I think the most comments I ever got was 40...I usually average about 20ish give or take...

*Swoons* With sideburns too. HOt.

Dude you are totally Emo In A Good Way