Prediction: The Dallas Stars will win big this season.
Prophesy: The Dallas Stars will hoist the cup next year.
Warning: Liberal use of parentheses.
I can see. . . strike that! I can hear it now "Oy, what makes you so damned certain?"
Yes, "Oy."
Well, what makes me so damned certain can only be such:
I DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE.
Defeatist, paranoid, even supersticious. Yes.
Wait, wait. Give me a moment or twenty to explain (depending on how quickly you read, I may need more. Because a "moment" is defined as "one and a half seconds." Truly it is. Look it up if you don't believe me.) I can wait, I've got nothing else important to do.
Done?
Good. I shall continue. This will probably take more than 100 moments. I apologise for the time-wasting long-windedness. There will be no planned intermissions.
The year wass 1996, I'd been following the "Minnesota North Stars Gone Lost" since they arrived in 1993, when most Texans at the time were calling toilet paper "Hockey Tickets". Job complications and lack of Cable TV ca$h forced me to miss most of the games. (I did not at this time know of WBAP, AM radio 820, www.wbap.com/listenlive, and their excellent and beautiful coverage of E-VER-Y Stars game.) Yes, the year was 1997. An excellent year. Ed Belfour was working his glory. The Stars Defense was tip-top. I say this all second-hand as I have not followed the magic that was the first President's Trophy-Winning year in Dallas Stars history. I missed the entire regular season. The whole damned thing. Yes, I was pissed. See, I've loved hockey for a long time but from afar, never to lie in her bed, certainly. Local coverage of The Finals was slight at best. No coverage of my favorite teams. (Which was Edmonton and Toronto. (Ahhh, yes. Some of you know what is to come, right?) I began watching the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Beautiful! Brilliant! *sigh!*
Crash, bang, boom. FUCK!
How could this be!? My old favorite team dethroning the juggernaut (, bitch) that was My Dallas Stars?! If I had only one word it would be "I couldn't fucking believe it!" Loss, acceptance, denial, blame, hatred. (Not in that order, of course.) Edmonton, I loved ye! BASTARDS! FUCKING TRAITORS!
I didn't watch the rest of the playoffs, nor did I care. Who won The Cup in 98? I know not, neither do I care.
The summer passes. I am still unable to watch the regular season. Hey, another President's Trophy! Wonderful, guys! Travel, job, personal pressure, the desire to destroy. All of this and more kept me from watching the Playoffs. I stopped off at a mexican restaurant to get a couple of tacos. TAAAAAAAAAAAAACOS!! *ahem* pardon me. And what did I see? People staring up at a TV, unable to chew the food in their mouths, staring blankly and wide-eyed as if every last split second was either life or death to them and their whole family. I asked what that was on the TV, as it was so small and distant that I couldn't really tell. I get only two words as the Taco Man stared at the TV: "Triple Overtime." The room explodes, everyone inside is celebrating. I can't even hear Ralph Strangis yelling "The Stars win The Stanley Cup! The Stars win The Stanley Cup! The Stars win The Stanley Cup!" over the din. See, the Dallas Stars had won The Stanley Cup. Nothing gets by you folks, but I thought you may need clarification, just in case. I missed the season and the Playoffs, but I did get to see them lift The Cup.
Every year since, I have watched as many games as I could, gotten disappointed and looked forward to the following season.
Now I live in Phoenix. Coyotes. Phah. I will only be able to catch the odd random game, now and only when I get super-lucky.
Defeatist, paranoid, even supersticious.
The Stars will win The Stanley Cup in 2007.
Prophesy: The Dallas Stars will hoist the cup next year.
Warning: Liberal use of parentheses.
I can see. . . strike that! I can hear it now "Oy, what makes you so damned certain?"
Yes, "Oy."
Well, what makes me so damned certain can only be such:
I DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE.
Defeatist, paranoid, even supersticious. Yes.
Wait, wait. Give me a moment or twenty to explain (depending on how quickly you read, I may need more. Because a "moment" is defined as "one and a half seconds." Truly it is. Look it up if you don't believe me.) I can wait, I've got nothing else important to do.
Done?
Good. I shall continue. This will probably take more than 100 moments. I apologise for the time-wasting long-windedness. There will be no planned intermissions.
The year wass 1996, I'd been following the "Minnesota North Stars Gone Lost" since they arrived in 1993, when most Texans at the time were calling toilet paper "Hockey Tickets". Job complications and lack of Cable TV ca$h forced me to miss most of the games. (I did not at this time know of WBAP, AM radio 820, www.wbap.com/listenlive, and their excellent and beautiful coverage of E-VER-Y Stars game.) Yes, the year was 1997. An excellent year. Ed Belfour was working his glory. The Stars Defense was tip-top. I say this all second-hand as I have not followed the magic that was the first President's Trophy-Winning year in Dallas Stars history. I missed the entire regular season. The whole damned thing. Yes, I was pissed. See, I've loved hockey for a long time but from afar, never to lie in her bed, certainly. Local coverage of The Finals was slight at best. No coverage of my favorite teams. (Which was Edmonton and Toronto. (Ahhh, yes. Some of you know what is to come, right?) I began watching the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Beautiful! Brilliant! *sigh!*
Crash, bang, boom. FUCK!
How could this be!? My old favorite team dethroning the juggernaut (, bitch) that was My Dallas Stars?! If I had only one word it would be "I couldn't fucking believe it!" Loss, acceptance, denial, blame, hatred. (Not in that order, of course.) Edmonton, I loved ye! BASTARDS! FUCKING TRAITORS!
I didn't watch the rest of the playoffs, nor did I care. Who won The Cup in 98? I know not, neither do I care.
The summer passes. I am still unable to watch the regular season. Hey, another President's Trophy! Wonderful, guys! Travel, job, personal pressure, the desire to destroy. All of this and more kept me from watching the Playoffs. I stopped off at a mexican restaurant to get a couple of tacos. TAAAAAAAAAAAAACOS!! *ahem* pardon me. And what did I see? People staring up at a TV, unable to chew the food in their mouths, staring blankly and wide-eyed as if every last split second was either life or death to them and their whole family. I asked what that was on the TV, as it was so small and distant that I couldn't really tell. I get only two words as the Taco Man stared at the TV: "Triple Overtime." The room explodes, everyone inside is celebrating. I can't even hear Ralph Strangis yelling "The Stars win The Stanley Cup! The Stars win The Stanley Cup! The Stars win The Stanley Cup!" over the din. See, the Dallas Stars had won The Stanley Cup. Nothing gets by you folks, but I thought you may need clarification, just in case. I missed the season and the Playoffs, but I did get to see them lift The Cup.
Every year since, I have watched as many games as I could, gotten disappointed and looked forward to the following season.
Now I live in Phoenix. Coyotes. Phah. I will only be able to catch the odd random game, now and only when I get super-lucky.
Defeatist, paranoid, even supersticious.
The Stars will win The Stanley Cup in 2007.