Randomness.
A few are original, I think.
Fuck, life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life. Stay fucked up wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.
Jalapenos are hotter on the way out than they are on the way in.
Never trust a reaction from an actor, a smile from a salesman, a promise from a politician, or candy in the waiting room of a dentist's office.
Perform an anatomical sexual impossibility.
Pardon me for assuming, but if you get hit with a pipe every morning, somewhere around the second to fifth day, you're gonna start ducking.
Demon on a tour of Hell: "It's not really the heat, it's the humanity."
Is it blasphemy to call a communion wafer a Jeeze-It?
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
What is Captain Hook's real name?
What's that hollow bit in a strawberry for?
What would we call an orange if it was a different color?
Charlie is short for Charles but has the same number of syllables and letters. And Chuck is funny when applied to The Name Game.
What's the difference between a big-ass lake and an inland sea? Aren't the Great Lakes seas?
I took a dude from China and performed extensive plastic surgery. Eyes, skin color, height, etc. He became disoriented.
I took a cab backwards all the way home. The cabbie paid me $11.77
How does dislexia affect Braille?
How important do you need to be to change your murder to assassination?
The difference between ignorance and stupidity is ignorance can be fixed.
It takes 17 muscles to smile and 52 to frown. 0 to sit there with a dumbass look on your face.
I have discovered that intelligence and common sense are limited resources. Observe people in large groups.
Wouldn't it be funny to meet a guy named Now Nguyen?
Are nomads territorial?
Luke takes bath. Luke pees in bath. Bath becomes lukewarm.
Do stutterers stutter when thinking to themselves?
Actors are in movies but on TV.
Why does Superman bother leaping over buildings in a single bound when he can just fly over?
How long could solar-powered vehicles travel up to and beyond the speed of light?
If you fall in love, is a breakup considered climbing back out again?
Hooters is offering free delivery called "Knockers"
I once fed a cheeseburger to a cow. The cow loved it until I told it what it had done. My cow freaked out. It had a person.
Terrible report card. Two E's and a C and a D, but at least I didn't flunk anything. My parents are so gullible.
I personally enjoy Trix more as an adult than I did when I was a kid. I consider this to be the punk in me using breakfast to rebel.
New and Improved. New and Improved? I enjoyed old and inferior more.
Wouldn't it be strange if an elephant were called a Boogledufik? No, because it would have always been a Boogledufik and we'd be used to it by now.
Good things come to those who wait. Enjoy my leftovers because I got there first, punk.
Unfortunately, stupidity is not a crime. You're free to go.
A few are original, I think.
Fuck, life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life. Stay fucked up wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.
Jalapenos are hotter on the way out than they are on the way in.
Never trust a reaction from an actor, a smile from a salesman, a promise from a politician, or candy in the waiting room of a dentist's office.
Perform an anatomical sexual impossibility.
Pardon me for assuming, but if you get hit with a pipe every morning, somewhere around the second to fifth day, you're gonna start ducking.
Demon on a tour of Hell: "It's not really the heat, it's the humanity."
Is it blasphemy to call a communion wafer a Jeeze-It?
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
What is Captain Hook's real name?
What's that hollow bit in a strawberry for?
What would we call an orange if it was a different color?
Charlie is short for Charles but has the same number of syllables and letters. And Chuck is funny when applied to The Name Game.
What's the difference between a big-ass lake and an inland sea? Aren't the Great Lakes seas?
I took a dude from China and performed extensive plastic surgery. Eyes, skin color, height, etc. He became disoriented.
I took a cab backwards all the way home. The cabbie paid me $11.77
How does dislexia affect Braille?
How important do you need to be to change your murder to assassination?
The difference between ignorance and stupidity is ignorance can be fixed.
It takes 17 muscles to smile and 52 to frown. 0 to sit there with a dumbass look on your face.
I have discovered that intelligence and common sense are limited resources. Observe people in large groups.
Wouldn't it be funny to meet a guy named Now Nguyen?
Are nomads territorial?
Luke takes bath. Luke pees in bath. Bath becomes lukewarm.
Do stutterers stutter when thinking to themselves?
Actors are in movies but on TV.
Why does Superman bother leaping over buildings in a single bound when he can just fly over?
How long could solar-powered vehicles travel up to and beyond the speed of light?
If you fall in love, is a breakup considered climbing back out again?
Hooters is offering free delivery called "Knockers"
I once fed a cheeseburger to a cow. The cow loved it until I told it what it had done. My cow freaked out. It had a person.
Terrible report card. Two E's and a C and a D, but at least I didn't flunk anything. My parents are so gullible.
I personally enjoy Trix more as an adult than I did when I was a kid. I consider this to be the punk in me using breakfast to rebel.
New and Improved. New and Improved? I enjoyed old and inferior more.
Wouldn't it be strange if an elephant were called a Boogledufik? No, because it would have always been a Boogledufik and we'd be used to it by now.
Good things come to those who wait. Enjoy my leftovers because I got there first, punk.
Unfortunately, stupidity is not a crime. You're free to go.