I met a girl on OKCupid about 2 years ago, and we chatted on the site quite a bit. I was honestly shocked I seemed to have found a cute girl that was a little edgy, a little nerdy, and very artistic. I've actually mentioned her before on my half-assed attempt at maintaining a blog. She could easily be a hopeful on the site. The image above is one I took of her at her apartment when she still lived in Memphis. We finally met and had our first date which was pretty exciting. This blog isn't about my first date with her, but I do recall seeing her walk in to the sushi restaurant where we agreed to meet. I turned around to see her and I was in awe. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. My jaw went slack and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I immediately felt like she would see me in my typical blue jeans, baseball cap, and t-shirt and think I was an average guy. A guy she wouldn't date or hang out with normally. We were both really nervous but it ended well and we had a few more coffee dates after that. Again, this isn't about our first date(s), so I digress.
We eventually began dating and became exclusive, a couple, boyfriend-girlfriend, or however else you want to title it. We would spend all of our free time together and it was fun for the most part. One Sunday she called me to meet her at a pizza place where her and her coworkers were letting off steam and drinking. It wasn't far from where I lived, but it was a little late for me since I had work early the next morning. Against my better judgement I decided to met up with her since I liked her a lot, and figured I could always make it through a rough work day of little sleep. What's the worst that could happen.
I get to the pizza restaurant and all of her coworkers are smoking outside and waiting on her to pay. They decided to go next door to a bar and drink since it was getting late and the pizza place was closing. I didn't really care, I just wanted to see 'her'. She comes out of the restaurant drunk, but at this point I couldn't tell that she was drunk. Some people carry themselves so well when they're piss drunk and it takes some time before you can tell the subtle hints that this person is intoxicated. That sort of skill takes years of drinking and practice, usually a skill honed by an alcoholic.
She hugs me on the sidewalk and asks me to sit with her on the curb while she smokes a cigarette. We chat and enjoy just sitting next to each other as you do when you're first dating. That honeymoon phase and piqued interest in one another and knowing through subtle nuance that they are interested in you. She gathers her things and we go to the bar with her friends. I'm sitting on the edge of the bar, and she is sitting between me and her friends, with her back turned to me. She's not really paying me much attention but I'm totally fine with that at this point. I guess in my naivety I'm just enjoying being there with her so close. The conversation between her coworkers and herself escalates and turns almost to yelling. Their voices are just below shouting, as you do when you want to express that you're upset but not yet draw attention from strangers. They cut each other off mid-sentence and become more and more animated. She turns to me, grabs my arm and tells me to come talk to her.
We walk down the hall inside the bar to the ladies room and she opens the door, pulls me in, closes it behind me, and locks it. She unsteadily walks to the corner of the room, spins around and pulls her panties down from under her skirt and sits on the toilet and begins to pee. I turn my head towards the opposite wall as it's not exactly a turn-on for me to watch a girl piss - call me old fashioned. She begins to rant about how her coworkers are not friends, and the differences between her friends in California versus those in Memphis. How they're not honest here, etc. At the time, I soaked in every word and emotion that she was expressing but it's lost in the noise of the past and the events that have come after.
A knock on the door, and then a muffled voice asking if she can open the door. She stands up, composes herself and unlocks the door. A woman begins to walk in and is taken aback when she sees me in the bathroom. She gets a coy look on her face and I shake my head and say "she just needed to talk alone, I'm sorry". I follow her back to the bar, and her friends have already left. The bar is closing and she wants to go home. I watch as she's holding herself up on the bar and even her grip on the bar is not steady. I can't let this girl drive home.
I offer to take her home and drive her car to her house. She lives at least 30 minutes from the bar, and I don't think through how to get my car and myself home. I decide I'll figure it out later as I cannot afford the expensive taxis here, and I can't let her risk her life. We begin driving and she sifts through her purse and realizes she is out of cigarettes. She insists that we pull over to a gas station and pick up a pack of cigarettes. I go to the first exit I come across and we go in together. She's running in to the doorways and swaying while standing in place. She asks the clerk for a pack of cigarettes and he asks for her I.D. She stands there, spacing out and the clerk becomes irritated and asks her again sternly "I.D. PLEASE". She snaps back and pulls her driver's license out and she pays for her cigarettes. We get back in the car and we drive about a mile away from the gas station when I realize she doesn't have gas in her car, her fuel gauge is riding on empty. I tell her we should have filled up before we left and she murmurs that her gauge is broken and the tank should have enough to get us to her house.
We continue down the road and she begins patting her purse, and then rummaging through her cup holders and console. She tells me curtly "stop again.. I need a lighter". I ask her if she can wait to smoke when she gets home and she frowns and says "please stop" in a irritated tone betraying her humble words. I pull off yet again to another gas station and this time allow her to go inside while I get gas for her outside. She stumbles out of the gas station and in the opposite direction of where I'm parked. I yell to her, thinking she was confused but she was heading towards a grassy area to throw up. She leaned forward slightly and spit a few times and dry heaved before coming back to the car. We get back on the road and finally arrive at her house.
She's still living with her parents and when we enter their house they are both on the couch under a blanket together watching TV. She introduces me to them and starts to march up the stairs, sort of leaving me standing in the entryway of her parent's house. I put my hands awkwardly in my pockets and say hell to them both and introduce myself. She stops midway up the stairs, furrows her brow and motions for me to follow. I bow my head, hiding under my baseball cap (I do this a lot apparently) and follow her lead. She shows me her bedroom and she collapses in the bed face first. She's mumbling in to her pillow while my mind is turning trying to think of how I'm going to get home. I text my sister to see if she's around and awake enough to help me out. My sister replies back and asks me where I'm located. Shit.. I have no idea.
I sit on the edge of the bed with her and she's laughing and talking nonsensically. She tells me to call in sick and spend the night with her. Part of me debated whether I should, or could do that and I shook the idea off as I'm in her parent's house. How awkward of a morning that would be trying to not look like an asshole, taking advantage of their daughter and having sex with her in their house. Again... call me old fashioned.
She has medication on her night stand with her address on it and I text the address to my sister. 20 minutes later, my sister arrives and I tell 'her' I have to go home and that I have work in about 3 hours. She deflates and pouts her lips and tells me to stay. I smile sheepishly and tell her maybe another night and walk out of her bedroom to go back downstairs. I go back to the front door and her parent's are asleep. I sneak out the front door and speed-walk to my sister's idling car. I get in the car and release a huge sigh.