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copper_crescendo

Edmonton

Member Since 2005

Followers 1 Following 1

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Tuesday Jan 10, 2006

Jan 10, 2006
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Feeling the color of a deep bruise.

So, I'm now officially been tossed aside. I don't know what happened, things were great, there was nothing that I sensed that would cause this. But now it's been a week since we last talked, I've called 4 times, and I'm really really down about how this ends.

A little history lesson inserted here now - she almost broke up with me about a month ago because it's looking increasingly likely that my move to Portland will be going through. She thought it a good idea just to stop seeing eachother at that point, but she felt that she couldn't do it. Now I guess she can.

Now I guess she is.

I feel angry thinking that maybe she knew, even then, that she would do this. Maybe she knew then that she was just going to drop me. Maybe she knew all along and strung me a long.

I say these things out of anger and hurt. I feel very hurt. I feel very abused. I feel lied to. I feel like I'm missing something, some vital piece of information that would make everything make sense.

But the information is right in front of me - she hasn't called because she doesn't want to. That's all there is to it, little man. Just accept it, realize that it obviously wasn't meant to be despite how much you felt that it was, it just isn't.

And next time, guard your heart a little more closely. It's the only you have and it is too easily wounded.

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