catculus

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid Ryan.

He needs to quit being stupid.

Because that's what he's doing. Being stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm going to go cry / sleep now.

(note: no communication with him has occured, I just need sleep. I need him out of my profile picture. Seeing pictures of him just makes me want to reach out and hold him and I can't and it's fucking driving me crazy. I haven't seen him online so maybe he really hasn't checked his email... he better call when he gets that email I wrote him telling him to call...

I really want to see him. God, I want to see him so bad. I was supposed to see him this coming Saturday but the bar they were supposed to be playing with had to go and fucking close down fucking bastards ruining my plans when i haven't seen these boys in months--well, Ryan is the only one I haven't run into--I ran into Dave once and I've sure I've seen Brian with Meesh at some point--kinda hard not to unless I'm seeing her at SAI or we go to Atcha (he doesn't like Atcha).

Dontcha just love run-on sentences?

Ryan probably went to Chalmette.

He better not have another stupid girlfriend. They never last and they just fuck around with him. Not that I'm not insanely jealous when he does have a girlfriend. But I'm more pissed off because what the hell is he doing when HE COULD HAVE ME? I mean... aurgh. People suck.

Hello, hello, hello!

Why do I continue wanting him after all this time?