catculus

I gave my love but--
My love doesn't matter.
I never knew your touch
But I've memorized your hands.
We never really talked;
Still your voice rings in my head
Like you're talking to me now.
I rarely saw you:
On a stage, after a show
And our last dinner.
I am not part of your life
Yet you're everything in mine.

And here I am:
300 miles away--
Longing for your touch,
Your face, your voice:
But you won't even give me
Words on a screen,
And I never touched
nor saw, nor heard you
When I was five minutes
From your door.

I shall never know your touch;
If I see you again
It will to hear your voice:
A planned trip to see your band.
I worried that you'd fear me
And now you are afraid.
A silent friendship buried
In an unmarked grave.
One week since we've spoken
I ask and no reply
My love doesn't matter:
All I ask is why...

Could I really be that bad?