bryte

because i can't write about this in lj...
because i can't use sitdiary on my mac...
and because private posts show up on myspace...


i miss megan.

fuck. i can't deal with this.
i'm sick of brushing it off and pretending that i'm adjusted.
i'm sick of censoring myself.

yeah i'm emo; bitch, bitch, bitch...

if it's this hard now,
how hard would it have been in a year?
two years?
we weren't going to be together forever -
it's easier now than then,

but just because i broke it off...
doesn't mean i don't love her.
i love her more now than ever.

this is so messed up.



i have these stupid flings to distract myself,
and i wake up feeling so guilty and depressed that i need to throw up.
it was easy; now it's just getting harder and harder.

i wish i had a fucking grasp on my feelings.



i wish she wanted to see me.