bridgetwnpeddler

both. he doesn't want to make me sad and he doesn't want to feel guilty for making me sad. however, by avoiding me to not make me sad, only makes me the saddest. it's just crappy.

i think it's a little different considering our history. there were never any games like you and h had going on either. i just want him in my life. i know we're not going to get back together, i'm not holding out or anything. i don't want years to go by without talking to him. life is too short.

there's one man whom i've loved more than anything i could imagine. he stopped loving me a while ago. it's hard for him to be around me. i found out last might he's moving to another country next week. i don't think he was going to tell me. part of why i stayed in portland was because he still lived in oregon, even though i never got to see him. my heart is broken all over again.

i stayed away to some degree. i've known him my whole life, more than anything i wanted us to stay friends and i don't really understand why he didn't want that too. he's been living in ashland for almost a year now, and i've only seen him 3 times or so since then--and all by his choice of course. we were together for 10 years and have been broken up for about 2 i guess. i don't see that feeling going away anytime soon. i hate being so sad. i want everything to be all right with us, you know? he was my best friend.

I'll have to check it out. Where exactly is it?

Hmmm....I don't know what to think. I can't even figure out the man I have been with for 18 years! I'm surprised to hear that she doesn't know how you feel about her though....

i notice you did not post in teh teabagging thread....

it does have bright colors, yes

oh about WCI, I heard it was too exspenive. you're just paying for the name and it doesn't work here in Portland because of a bad reputation. I guess, this is all from other peoples' opinions. O.

I always tend to err on the side of caution, myself. (Until very recently, I was living a life that could be considered down right monastic! Chickenshit me!)

Finding the proper balance between protecting oneself and yet allowing oneself to be open to the possibility of love can be SO very challenging.

Dating ain't for sissies...that's for SURE.

(Thanks for the words of encouragement. The hobgoblin hordes have been temporarily pacified.)

PS: Glad you enjoyed the art work.



[Edited on Apr 12, 2005 7:27PM]

what ever you do don't take them @ Western Culinary, I heard some bad things about WCI.
So I read Wayne W. Dyer, although it's been a little while since I picked up his book. I try to pratice what he talks about but that thing, uhmmmmm-my ego, gets in the way from time to time. You should check out one of his books, Manifest Your Destiny, sounds like the book for you at this time of conquring something. I'm sure he has a website but I don't know what it is. Check it out.

I might be getting some people together for a Friday afternoon/early evening gathering at Auto's Pub in Vancouver if you're free. I will have to turn into a pumpkin around 8:00 so I am trying to meet close to my house (selfish I know) so I have more time.

Let me know and I'll give you my number and directions!

so what kind of yoga are you doing? have you changed your diet as well? i think any kind of motivation is good, revenge might actually be the best one since there's like an endless supply of it. i'd be surprised if this new guy lasts for heidi, but even if they do, it doesn't mean it would have worked out for you. she missed out and there's someone better waiting to meet you i'm sure...

i'm pretty secluded in my area of the hospitel--i could recommend some good eye surgeons, but that's about the extent of it. i'm against plastic surgery. why would you need it if you're doing so well on your own?

Hmmm......wondering how your evening out went....