billybillybilly

sometimes you get to that point (where i am now) and you have nothing to say, but you want desparately to talk and talk.

things that would be much more productive to do right now:

1. fuck
2. fight
3. yell at someone
4. feast
5. be drunk

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS

steel_talons:

you can do most of those with the help of a companion. Perhaps a hired companion?

Nov 15, 2004

mizbhaven1:

*gives you a pimp slap*

Nov 15, 2004

"I've worried about a lot more than has actually happened. So what I'm saying is that I need to worry about the situations when they BECOME situations, rather than worry about what MIGHT happen."

humbling words, especially to hear them coming from my own mouth.

trust is something you grant and are granted, and what are you to do with it? who do you trust...
Read More

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS

marlowe:

which came first, the chicken or the heart?

Nov 14, 2004

st_eve_bc:

now that is a deep and rapid stream of thought.

indeed, to the future

Nov 16, 2004

Heh...

Good times.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS

brinny:

good times... yeah.. good times....
brinny

Nov 13, 2004

bankerboy:

Good times is seeing neodrunk pass out for two nights in a row. I wonder what he will pull for an encore?

bb

Nov 13, 2004

your head flashes back to high school and you know exactly why. it's the first place that the symptoms were ever explained to you. you're doing a self assessment right now so it's not all that different from being graded.

this car seat in back is cramped, you're in back behind the driver and there's a song playing that up until now you've been distracted...
Read More

VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS

brinny:

i love all your neato pics!!!!!!!

brinny

Nov 12, 2004

cipher:

Becoming less happy tends to take care of itself.
Things are geared to go wrong. Wrong is the normal state of the universe.

It's become terribly clear that I'm not that type of writer; I can write a great deal, but only under certain circumstances. I chose to be OK with that, since I've no choice & it beats the shit out of nothin'.

Nov 13, 2004

from time to time these lines repeat in my brain, mostly at work, and over over over and over again. the first one happens most of all:

i am trying not to think about you.

backforthbackforthbackforthbackforthbackforthbackforthbackforthback...

i wonder what to tell you, i've not touched the design in ages.

there was this one time, you looked so pleasant.

... two days ago, two days ago...
Read More

VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS

dagan:

My pic is of you!

Nov 9, 2004

granny:

... favorites?

Nov 9, 2004

___________________planet__________________

me (-----------------------------------------------------) you
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
...................................................................................|
.............................................................................patience
.........................................................................understanding
.................................................................................love
...................................................................................?

*significance is subjective.

**vantage point

***subject here is objective and relevant

///////////

certain things require distance to hold a...
Read More

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS

cassiopeia:

I absolutely love your new profile picture. How's the Informers so far? I hope you like it as much I as did.

Nov 6, 2004

pinkokitty:

b3..sorry about not getting back to you about photographs today. she was coming, she wasn't coming, she was coming but i didn't know what time. she wound up getting here around 10 this morning.

thanks for being open to the adventure though!

Nov 7, 2004

{revised and expanded}

halloween and past

lazy saturday filled up with insights, none of which i wish on...

heavy conversations, lots of writing, several letters and dear... have i betrayed you? you've shaken up my trust and fall is empty now. i hope this winter hibernates. this time, take some for yourself. all that's left is all i dread.

later on into daytime... evening started...
Read More

VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS

granny:

oh yes. yes I do

Nov 4, 2004

darkjuan:

yup.. I'm off at 5 so just let me know

Nov 4, 2004

soon. yes. very soon I will update.

VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS

brookelynne:

thanks for your words
xoxo
lady B

Nov 1, 2004

irina:

billy!

billy!

billy!

(I miss doing that.)

Nov 5, 2004

Meditating starting with "pulk/pull revolving doors" to finish with "you and who's army?" The feeling of being light lingers with "i might be wrong."

* * * * *

Self manipulation is key in all things. The ability to control yourself, or let yourself go, and hold it in your own hand. Being happy or being sad is trivial if you feel your life contains...
Read More

VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS

shanana:

Happy Halloween !

Oct 31, 2004

cipher:

Chestpiece.

The worst thing you can do is think you're alive when you're really just in life's waiting room.

We are not yet that strength which will move earth and heaven. Someday.

Oct 31, 2004

Have you ever actually been relieved by hearing someone might die?

* * * * *

Is it possible that it could be impossible for one to be able to have a good day without something drastic fucking it up in direct proportion to how good one feels?

* * * * *

Did you know that it IS possible to shut off any part...
Read More

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS

charitee:

Have you ever actually been relieved by hearing someone might die?

* * * * * Yes, because once she's dead she can't hurt me anymore. It's horrible to feel that way about my own mother.

Is it possible that it could be impossible for one to be able to have a good day without something drastic fucking it up in direct proportion to how good one feels?

* * * * * yes, there's always the worry of what's right around the corner.

Did you know that it IS possible to shut off any part of yourself that you want? Even the part that needs something?

* * * * * Yes, I do my best to shut off the pain in my legs so that I can walk every day.

Have you considered that you could destroy a friendship/relationship just by the existance of a different friendship/relationship?

* * * * * It's happened to me more than once.

* * * * *

Oct 29, 2004

drstinkypants:

-sure. there are lots of shitty people.
-you lost me on that one
-the mind is a fucked up and terrible thing
-no. i dont really get into the whole friends/relationships business. sems to be more bad than good for the most part. and fuck, i can be miserable by myself no problem

Oct 29, 2004

Here we are again, so much to say, and none of it would be new I guess. I'm guessing. I'm assuming. I'm not exactly sure, and right now I should feel better, that would be the normal reaction.

I've thought a lot about your list, friend. I've thought a lot about what I love and hate. And I think I hate myself, at least in...
Read More

VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS