billybillybilly

Meditating starting with "pulk/pull revolving doors" to finish with "you and who's army?" The feeling of being light lingers with "i might be wrong."

* * * * *

Self manipulation is key in all things. The ability to control yourself, or let yourself go, and hold it in your own hand. Being happy or being sad is trivial if you feel your life contains a purpose.

Whatever lengths I go to pursuing happiness only come back proving me a selfish person. I have found no joy in myself, though sometimes in the things I create. I have found little happiness in doing those things which turn me content, to assume my problems null by moments.

I'm trying to equate this to something, and it is not working. That however, is okay. I should like to get back to my paintings, and also a tatoo design which I am contemplating.

* * * * *

Answer me this: Backpiece or chestpiece?

Things to consider;

I am a skinny guy. If you tap on the middle of my chest you're hitting my breastplate underneath a layer of skin. Little to nothing between them.

I would like to be able to see it in the mirror.

* * * * *

People who have similar interests can be set at odds when their goal is something they are in need of. Example would be, two people starving. They are standing in front of a fruit display. There is one apple left on the display, one of them will have it.

I am animalistic, stupid and childish when my needs are threatened. Years ago I could shut off the need and turn the item into a goal instead. It made my wants easier to obtain. My emotions became fire burning in the back of my mind, nothing standing in my way except a straight line between myself and this prize.

I've lost that, but the need and ability to shut off are returning to me.

* * * * *

"I mean, what are we?" Laughing. Cracking up, "I don't know!!!" Smiles, and more smiles and laughs.

* * * * *

I'm waiting here, don't shut me out.