bepps

until my next post, which wont be until after monday for sure.

It's gonna be hot. Very hot. As in like 125 in the shade but we won't be in the shade. It's gonna be dry. So dry that your skin will crack and peel and all day long you'll be screaming NOXZEMAAAAAAAA!!!. There's no water in the air which combined with the heat soaks every bit of moisture out of your lungs with every breath and in order to literally keep from dying you have to drink like 2 gallons of water per day. And that's just to stay alive. To stay healthy and happy more like 4 gallons. That's 16 32oz sport bottles of water or an entire evian bottle every half hour. Then add on the fact that you're nursing a hangover through this sweltering heat and you might as well just plug a hose up to your mouth and drink continually for the whole outing. And it's gonna be dusty. Very dusty. So dusty that you can't barely see shit and it's difficult to breathe. This is all going to be experienced after a night of partying so everyone is gonna be hung over, throwing up (probably on your shoe), and probably grumpy as shit. It's not for everyone. But if you're fuckin hard core and enjoy doing extreme shit like that then consider yourself invited to party with us up there. If you're like most people this type of thing is exactly what you want to avoid at all costs and should do so.

If you're like most people your idea of paradise is not a desert that's trying to kill you but a sandy beach that's trying to seduce you and forces you to take your clothes off just to feel free. It's cool sea breezes, warm sunshine, and total seclusion on a tropical beach miles from civilization. (Not hundreds of miles though, just miles so if someone gets hurt they can still be choppered to a hospital in the same amount of time it would take if they were on the mainland.) This is what this coming weekend is all about. We're gonna party it up and do it in a big way. We have a couple hundreds bucks worth of liquor going out there and it's not gonna come back. If it sounds fun to you, well let's roll.

It'll start out two months before the trip. We'll be over at some ones house 'breakin out the moonshine, tellin lies, and callin up the women' when someone will say "Hey, I feel a Vegas trip coming up" and someone else will "Yea? That'd be pretty cool". Myself, I'll think back to the last one and remember how we didn't do anything different than we're doing at the weekend get together that we're having right then. But I'll have visions of one of the girls running through the halls in a bra n panties yelling about how someone stole her sunglasses, never mind that she has no clothes (and actually left the glasses on the toilet in the bathroom when she went to throw up), and chuckle and say "Yea. Yea we should do that again soon". A few days later someone will see a bad ass concert or something and plans will be made to attend. Fast forward a week and through IMs someone will say something like "What's the latest with the hotel for vegas?" "Um, I dunno I thought you were doing that" "Nope, I don't get paid for a while and we'll need to reserve something soon or the prices will go up". Fast forward another week and the same conversation will take place with two other people. Fast forward a month and someone will finally be drunk at home two days after pay day and say "FUCK THPSE BITCHEZ YM GONA GET THSI SHIT MYSELF" and reserve a room on orbitz for $300 a night. They'll feel like they got a bargain because free internet will be offered. They, however will forget about it until two days later when they hit the ATM and shit their pants thinking someone took $684 out of their account, rush home and look at their account online and think "Whoa shit dude that's right" and post an announcement on myspace that the hotel is taken care of. Everyone except for that person will be like "YES! We're gonna party the shit up in that room! ALL OF US!"
In the weeks leading up to the trip a few get togethers will occur and people will announce that such n such hot chick and such n such cool dude is gonna meet up with us there and' we'll oogle at their profile pages and videos of them masturbating in odd places. None of them will actually make it though, it being Arbor Day n all. Products will be bought (mostly liquor, half of which will be drank long before we actually leave) and I'll tell everyone how I'm saving for a limo that I saw on ebay for $2100 and hope to have it by the time we go. Obviously I wont, I'll spend the money at the nudie bar on a girl named Lexie who had an absolutely fabulous ass.

The night before we go up there, most of the liquor that was purchased in advance (we drink a lot so to cut down on costs we buy everything at Sam club beforehand) is toast. What little is left of it we'll drink the night before. The next day I'll go to sams club and buy enough liquor to create our own full fledged bar. I'll pack it in two suitcases which we all protect with our lives. Throughout the day we'll IM each other getting updates on everyone seeing how many of us are ready. Of which, no one will be, we'll all have all this shit to do at work. 6:00pm will come around and blow right past and one guy alone will be at his place, bags packed in his car ready to go, IMing everyone asking what the fuck is taking so long. By midnight everyone will have met up at my place in Corona, which is the closest to Vegas right off the 15 and 91 freeways. I still won't be there. No, I'll be workin away trying to finish things up.

By 1am I'll roll up into the driveway, backing in so we can load everything into my truck, noticing that other than the drivers everyone is drunk. There'll be a girl throwing up in the bushes by the driveway and some guy peeing on the lawn. By 1:30 we'll roll out of the driveway and someone will call on their cell and tell whoever is leading "oh, hey I got no gas, we'll need to fill up". Everyone will yell at them asking why they didn't do that in the 5hrs they had while they were waiting for me. Finally we'll get under way and once outside of Victorville when the road becomes open desert highway someone will think it's the coolest thing in the world to drive in the middle of the freeway for 50 miles while one of the girls hangs out the window topless with a beer in hand throwing up half digested nachos and sushi all long the side of the truck. At 4am we'll finally show up to the hotel, each of us with their premixed Vegas play lists blaring out their trucks n cars. Whoever got the room will get the key and express their distaste in the hotel itself and the price they paid. Everyone else will agree and call them a dumbass alcoholic and say how they need to buy the shit sober. By 6am we'll have carried all of the crates of goodies into the hotel room. I'll bring in the last of the goods and try to find space around everyone sprawled out all over the floor sleeping. Everyone except for someone throwing up in the bathroom sink and someone smoking on the balcony. Which I'll notice is rather odd because we didn't get a room with a balcony. After coaxing the crazy person to not smoke on the ledge of the 38th floor of the hotel and stating that no one is going to wake up and be mad that they are smoking inside the room, they'll come in off the ledge and we'll sleep until 4 er 5pm.

The next day there's gonna be one er two really happy people, the rest will say very very little, quietly sipping their bottles of water while someone searches for something entertaining to watch on tv. Nothing will be found and we'll watch something talking about the amazing deals you can find all over the casino with mixed in short documentaries on how to gamble. After a few hours of discussions with long pauses in between of where we want to get some food someone will finally get frustrated and walk to their car. Everyone else will follow and we'll drive around Vegas looking for something awesome. Many awesome places to eat will be seen and driven past. We'll get Taco Bell or subway and spend the rest of the afternoon driving around in the burning heat until someone (usually me) says they need to throw up. After doing so in some parking lot, they'll lobby for heading back to the hotel near a toilet. The rest of the afternoon will be spent in the hotel room with people making jokes with the occasional person jumping on the bed. The toilet will be in fairly high demand as various people vomit.

That night everyone will drink the better part of the alcohol and much fun will be had while everyone acts like assholes and fight over who's gonna pick the songs that the laptop will be playing (we'll have brought a few laptops and some computer speakers). After a while some people will get bored and swear they know how to win big money on some game and will leave to the casino only to come back half hour later bitching about how they got thrown out and the hotel staff here are fucking nazi bastards. As people get progressively more drunk one person will bust out their pipe and smoke some pot ever so inconspicuously over by the window. Everyone else will call them trailer trash and a fight will almost break out because of it. Slowly but surely as the night progresses, people will start to konk out in various positions around the room until there's maybe 3 er 4 people left who decide that there's a killer buffet half way down the strip and head down to it. Half hour after they leave one of the girls will wake up and proclaim their ever lasting love for one of the player guys who will be drunk as hell and grumpy when woken up. He'll tell her to go back to sleep and no he's not fucking her. 45 miuntes of nonstop pestering later he will to shut her up and the half-drunk-perverted-loner-guy half-sleeping in the corner will watch with one half-open eye, falling to sleep half way through. Some time throughout the night one of the girls will jump up yelling and hitting some guy shouting things no one can really understand. Everyone will throw things at her and tell her to shut up and someone, probably another girl, will take her outside and smoke a cigarette with her and attempt to speak some reason into her. To no avail, both girls are two tequila bottles each into the night. No matter though, the first girl who wigged out will pass out before her cigarette has burned out anyway. No one else knows what happens after that because those sober enough to remember things are long since asleep and those awake are so fucked up they have no clue what's going on anyway.

The next day the alarm will go off and whoever was the most excited about going to the concert (Yea, remember that thing? The whole damn reason we made this trip in the first place) will wake up and do their best to not step on people (to no avail) and take a shower. Half hour later they'll open the curtains letting in the blazing ass sun and start up some tunes to get people moving. If they're lucky, one other person will get up and they'll get ready too and the two of them will head out to the show. Everyone else will spend the day the same way they spend the last one, sipping their bottled water saying very little with the exception of one or two others who will immediately mix up some drinks and get the day underway. Everyone else will do what they can to try and motivate them to not get us kicked out of the hotel, surprisingly with success.

That evning will go by in pretty much the same manner as the night before. Come Sunday when everyone wakes up everyone will sloooowwwwly gather up what belongings are left and carry them to the cars. This won't barely take two trips because the bulk of the supplies was liquor and it's all gone except for that one bottle of god knows what that no one wanted to touch. (3 months later someone will be at home completely out of liquor and drink it) Half of everyones clothes are also missing so they can put their backpack into their suitcase. Then we'll head out and stop by someplace that sells spicy food, usually Mexican since there's plenty on the menu with no meat and some are vegetarian, some are strict carnivores. Everyone will joke around about various things, all the while trying to avoid the one topic of the one utterly insane outlandish thing that one person did when tremendously drunk. The rest of the day will be spent driving through the burning ass desert stopping at each rest stop so that people can throw up and pee. Sometimes in that order, sometimes not. By 7pm er so we'll get into Victorville and one of the cars will be god knows where. Probably the one without someone with a cell phone. The cars that are still together will stop off and get some food before we hit the traffic. Miraculously, the lost person will show up saying how they had an insatiable urge for In N Out and we just happened to be there too. Doesn't matter though, we'll get split up in the sunday night traffic going down the pass anyway and 10pm er so by the time we finally get through the cajon pass into San Bernardino, everyone will go their seperate ways.